Some years ago, my friend Helen and I were on our way to London, sitting right in the center of one of those wide-bodied planes, when she turned to me and whispered: "I've got jumpy legs."

I said, "You've got WHAT?"

"Jumpy legs, and I can't sit still here another minute."

Then she got up and maneuvered her way past all the settled and/or sleeping passengers, and out to the aisle where her legs could do whatever it was that jumpy legs needed to do.

I thought it was rather strange at the time, and figured Helen was probably the only person on earth with such a problem. Evidently there are lot of Helens out there, for now not only does this condition have an official name -- restless legs syndrome -- half the world seems to have it.

There's a syndrome for just about everything these days. At one time we used to say we had sore wrists, but now we have carpal tunnel syndrome, and where we once inherited Aunt Helen's intestinal problems, we now have irritable bowel syndrome. It used to be that we just had jumpy legs, but now that, too, has become an official syndrome.

I wonder whether there's a syndrome for what I have -- not restless legs, but a restless thumb and forefinger. They never take a break. Instead, they are busy tracing half circles in the air, or on the table or in my lap. They don't think I notice, but I catch them at it all the time. They used to draw complete circles -- like doodling without the pencil. I'd be sitting at a show, enjoying the whole scene, when I'd look down and find them sketching perfect circles on the program cover, one after the other. How do habits like these get started? I don't remember ever telling my thumb and forefinger that I wanted them to draw me anything, and now they've changed from whole circles to halves, whatever that means. I used to worry about this quirk, but have decided to be proud of what I have: the neurotic thumb and forefinger syndrome.

While we're on the subject of body quirks, have you ever noticed what people do with their feet while they are in a seated position? Watch the guests on Oprah sometime and you will see. There are the knee-crossing leg swingers, and the foot-turning ankle twirlers, always in motion. This could fall under the category of restless legs syndrome, but it probably won't be long before they have syndromes of their very own.

So our world is filled with syndromes -- some very serious and life-threatening, and some just really odd and quirky like my thumb and forefinger. I have a hunch that many people are relieved to find that they have a syndrome; it sounds rather official, and justifies the complaints they've been issuing for years. Now they can point proudly to their syndrome and that will be the end of it.

My Webster's dictionary defines syndrome as: (1) a group of signs and symptoms that occur together and characterize a particular abnormality; (2) a set of concurrent things as emotions or actions that usually form an identifiable pattern. I'd say that relates to just about all of us, wouldn't you?

It's time to end this now because I have to check my e-mail -- again. Oh, did I neglect to mention this other quirk of mine, the check-your-email-too-many-times-a-day syndrome? I wonder whether there's a remedy for that, and if so, will Medicare pay for it?

Joann Duncanson, a former Peterborough resident, lives and writes in Greenland, N.H. She is the author of "Who Gets the Yellow Bananas" and is co-author, with Fred Samuels, of "Breakfast in the Bathtub." Her website is http://www.jsnowduncanson.com .