It took a while to make up its mind, but the New Hampshire House voted yesterday to allow same-sex couples to marry.

The bill, which will now head to the Senate, passed by a seven-vote margin. Gov. John Lynch, a Democrat, has said he opposes same-sex marriage, but he has not said whether he would veto a bill allowing it. He supported legislation two years ago that legalized civil unions for same-sex couples, and a spokesman for Lynch indicated yesterday that the governor was satisfied with the status quo.

"The civil unions bill he signed into law prevents discrimination and provides the same legal protections to all New Hampshire families to the extent that is possible under federal law," said Colin Manning, Lynch's press secretary.

Yesterday's House vote of 186-179 was cheered by gay-rights activists and others who watched from the House gallery. But the result came after hours of debate and several roll call votes that failed to achieve a majority for any course of action.

First, lawmakers decided - by a single vote - against approving the bill. Then, they voted not to table the bill. They then voted against killing it, leaving the bill in a unique legislative limbo: neither passed, nor failed, nor set aside for later. After about 10 minutes of frantic lobbying on the House floor, Democratic leaders decided to consider the bill once again, this time confident they had secured enough "yes" votes from a handful of lawmakers who voted against the bill the first time.

"I've been around here long enough to know that when you see you're one vote away, you know there's a way you can win," said Rep. Jim Splaine, a Portsmouth Democrat who sponsored the gay marriage bill. "Given the opportunity to look people in the eye and say, 'I'd really, really, really, really like you to consider this as an issue of discrimination,' especially if you are openly gay, that can be a very powerful argument."

Massachusetts and Connecticut are the only states that allow same-sex couples to marry. The Vermont Senate passed a same-sex marriage bill last week, but Gov. Jim Douglas said he would veto the legislation if it reaches his desk.

New Hampshire's civil unions provide same-sex couples the same rights and responsibilities as marriage, but without the title. But supporters of same-sex marriage said the difference between "marriage" and "civil union" indicated that homosexual relationships were valued less than heterosexual ones.

"Separate but equal is not equal in marriage any more than it is in school segregation," said Rep. Gary Richardson, a Hopkinton Democrat.

Several opponents of the bill argued same-sex marriage would redefine a relationship that was the foundation of society. Rep. John Cebrowski, a Bedford Republican, offered a list of metaphors - including the wheel and axle, the notes of a musical chord, and an accounting balance sheet - to underscore his contention that some things cannot be tampered with.

"A peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich can't be anything other than a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich," Cebrowski said. "Creamy peanut butter and chunky peanut butter can never be peanut butter and jelly."

Others argued that gay marriage is unnatural because gay couples cannot conceive children on their own.

"Every successful society must be concerned about its children," said Rep. Laura Gandia, a Republican from Litchfield. "Allowing gay marriage would make my children and your children guinea pigs in a massive social experiment."

Two legislators offered personal stories to argue for support of same-sex marriage. Rep. Melanie Levesque, a Brookline Democrat who is black and married to a white man, explained that her marriage would have been illegal in the state of Virginia 40 years ago. She said many of the same cautions raised against same-sex marriage - that it violates God's will and that children raised in such a family will be endangered - had previously been raised against interracial marriage.

"We have had a long history of challenging conventional wisdom," Levesque said. "And we have grown from those challenges."

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