A state committee advocating abstinence education is recommending that a "just say no" to sex message should be spread via community programs, according to a draft of its final report. During a meeting yesterday, the group also vowed to support programs that promote the social skills necessary to help young people avoid premarital sex.

"Holding hands is the first step," said Karen Testerman, a committee member, "you're not even supposed to do that if you can avoid it."

The committee, whose mission has been championed by Health and Human Services Commissioner John Stephen, aims to "increase the percentage of New Hampshire teens who refrain from sexual activity." Over four meetings since November, the group has established a series of criteria by which organizations can apply for federal and state money for abstinence-only education programs. The group has about $96,000 to give and hopes to raise more.

State guidelines require that interested organizations offer programs that are able to develop young people's "refusal skills." They must also be positive, gender-fair, developmentally-appropriate and not teach or promote religion. Federal requirements mandate the programs teach that mutually faithful monogamous relationships should be the "standard of human sexual activity." They also say that programs should teach young people that it's important to be self-sufficient before they have sex.

The governor and Executive Council will likely start approving contracts in June for programs that meet the criteria. Programs that teach broad-based sex education will not be eligible for the money.

"One governor may be very supportive, love this and really push it," Dupee said. "The next governor may say no way."

Though the money isn't always allocated, the state has accepted federal dollars for abstinence programs since 1997. For every $4 the federal government contributes to the cause, the state must spend $3.

In its report, the committee acknowledges that New Hampshire's teen birth rates, like national teen birth rates, are on the decline. Still, the abstinence advocates said that those statistics don't show how many teen pregnancies are terminated.

The group lamented the Legislature's recent decision to kill a bill that would have required abortion providers to keep statistics about women who have abortions. They blamed Democrats and Planned Parenthood of Northern New England.

Committee members also said they want to bring teens who've had sex to their point of view. Anyone can declare a second virginity, they said.

"If you're not stuck with an incurable sexual disease, there's still time to get right," said member Dan Hogan, who is also an anti-abortion activist.

Though they didn't offer any support for their opinion, group members also posited that children of divorce and children who live in single-parent households are more likely to have sex at younger ages.

"Motherless and fatherless homes are your biggest problems," Testerman said.

The group's report says that young people between the ages of 10 and 19 should be encouraged to participate in abstinence programs. Their parents should be involved, and program resources should be targeted to areas of the state where they can do the most good.

Planned Parenthood was criticized often during the meeting. Hogan, however, suggested that the abstinence committee try to work with the group in an effort to synchronize their programs. His remarks drew guffaws.

"We will never convert them,"said Charles McLean, a committee member. "They will never convert us. This is part of a culture war. We've got to hang in and win."

(Jennifer Skalka can be reached at 224-5301, ext. 325, or by e-mail at jskalka@cmonitor.com.)