5 questions for Vermin Supreme
Candidate for president Vermin Supreme will donate some of his campaign props to the New Hampshire Political Library today. He will hold a press conference at the library at 20 Park St. at 3 p.m.
Supreme, who is from Baltimore, has campaigned for president in the New Hampshire primary since 1988, but this is the first time he paid the $1,000 filing fee so that his name would appear on the ballot. Among the items he will donate are a plastic leopard-print cape, a 5-foot-long toothbrush (see below) and the boot that he wore on his head the day he filed at the secretary of state's office.
How do you get your name? I would have to go off the record for that. I fiercely guard certain aspects of my reality.
What's your platform? I stand for all that is good. My opponents stand for all that is evil. I'm generally most recognized for my mandatory tooth-brushing campaign. I believe that is truly one of the top issues of the day. Of course, I am very well-known for promoting time travel research and zombie preparedness.
What are you donating to the library? One of the extremely valuable and extremely rare items that I will be lending to the library will be the emperor suit itself, in all its glory. Including epaulets. You can't be an emperor without epaulets. They consist of flippers. They're vintage. They have 4 inches' worth of fringe - a little nod to Captain Crunch, I guess.
What makes a flipper an epaulet? You wear them on your shoulders. They have been described in press accounts as bat wings.
Why are you donating these things? We have forged an agreement with the library, and they will actually be storing the memorabilia in a climate-controlled, titanium vault. And really, it will get it all out of my way.