A loving family, MARY LOU FULLER, Concord - Letter

To Pastor Steve Garnaas-Holmes: My partner and I, both in our 70s, have been in a same-gender relationship for over 25 years. We salute you for your article "Forget about the sex part" (SundayMonitor Viewpoints, May 15).

Over the years, Kay Amsden and I have lived our lives together with love, compassion and emotional support. My two children have benefited from her care and concern. Also, we are deep in the life of our church and are part of the Open & Affirming movement within the New Hampshire UCC Conference.

Contrast this with my heterosexual marriage, which took place in 1947 and went downhill from the moment I said, "I do." My husband began abusing me sexually - and permitted his friends to do so as well. His accompanying emotional abuse brought me to the brink of self-destruction.

After way too many years, despite the shame a divorce meant for one's family and friends, I obtained my decree and stepped out alone to make a new life for myself and my children.

As you so aptly put it in your article, I needed a "loving family" and found it with Kay, my same-gender partner - a designation we have long preferred because, as you said, "Sex has nothing to do with it." We have a healthy, happy and secure life together based on mutual respect.

The shame of my opposite-sex marriage raises the value of my same-gender relationship to new heights.

MARY LOU FULLER

Concord