Baggage Check: The green-eyed mother?
I think my wife is jealous of our twin 14-year-old daughters. Strangers comment on how beautiful they are, while my wife has gotten very critical of their appearance (hair, clothes, everything). I think part of it isn’t typical mother-daughter stuff, and more that she feels threatened. Of course, as her husband, I can’t bring this up, but I can’t keep taking their side, either.
No doubt there are complicated feelings involved with watching your daughters grow into supermodels. But it doesn’t have to just be about jealousy – it could also be about the passage of time and mortality, fears of them being sexualized too quickly, or feeling no longer needed.
Still, your daughters don’t deserve to be picked apart. Find a time when your wife is in a good mood and raise the issue. Don’t be accusatory. Just explain that you’re trying to create a supportive environment.
(Bonior is a clinical psychologist. For more information, see drandrea