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The Insiders

The Insiders: Make a splash with this season’s coolest swimming strokes

We’ve just received a piece of news that has our knickers in a tizzy – Concord’s seven community swimming pools open for the season today! To celebrate, we’re wearing our old-timey Boardwalk Empire-style one-piece men’s bathing suits (hence the knickers). Check concordnh.gov (or dig up last summer’s Insider pools issue) to find the perfect pool for you, then get out there and show off that bikini bod (in our case, again, hence the knickers). To help you enjoy the pools to the fullest, we’ve compiled a list of the season’s top swim strokes. Check them out!

∎ The Elementary Backstroke: After a winter sequestered indoors watching BBC’s Sherlock, blind the other swimmers with your brilliant English wit and brilliant white flesh.

∎ The Hashtag: Position four pool noodles in a pound sign pattern, then burst out of the water between them and shout YOLO!

∎ The Cat Paddle: Same as the dog paddle, but you look alternately smug and disinterested while you do it. Not to be confused with the Trevor’s Toybox item of the same name.

∎ The POTUS: Tread water for five years before someone points out you’ve secretly been wearing goggles the whole time.

∎ ∎ ∎

Elsewhere in town today, the McAuliffe-Shepard Discovery Center hosts Aerospacefest. This annual event features science demonstrations, live animals and the best rocket launches this side of North Korea (probably the best on that side, too, actually). Plus, a Tony Wonder-caliber magic show, a bounce house and bungee trampoline and space tons more! The event is free for Discovery Center members; adult admission is $15, children are $11 and students/seniors are $13. For more information, visit starhop.com.

(Email the Insiders at
theinsiders@cmonitor.com.)

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