Katy Burns: A Cuban-Canadian president?
So where’s Harry Accornero when we really need him?
Accornero, as connoisseurs of New Hampshire’s more eccentric legislators surely remember, is the guy from Laconia who was elected to the Legislature in 2010 and promptly shot to national notoriety (and great adulation in crackpot corners of the internet) when he petitioned the entire United States Congress to charge – and to convict – our president of treason.
Barack Hussein Obama, he reasoned, was most definitely a communist fascist Kenyan usurper hell-bent on enslaving freedom-loving real Americans under the godless flag of the United Nations. He seemed to speak for a disconcertingly large number of benighted souls.
In office, Harry additionally distinguished himself as one of a gang of birther representatives who loudly chased members of the state Ballot Law Commission through the State House halls when commission members refused to remove Obama’s – the United States president’s – name from the 2012 presidential ballot.
It was a high point for Harry, a low point for New Hampshire.
Then Accornero was ignominiously escorted from the stage by Laconia voters in 2012 and retreated to the obscurity from which he’d risen.
Now, though, we – or at least all right-thinking true American patriots – need him back.
There looms a new challenge for Accornero and his many cohorts: Ted Cruz. Cruz, a brand-new U.S. senator from Texas, isn’t the bashful sort. And he is clearly testing the presidential waters, as attested to by a visit Friday to mingle with big Granite State GOP donors.
But there’s something else about Cruz you might not know. Ted – or, more accurately, Rafael Edward Cruz – was born in Canada. To a Cuban father.
And the tall, eloquent Cruz is – like the man now occupying the White House – a graduate of notoriously left-wing extremist Harvard Law School. A coincidence?
Or could we have another imposter? Another alien with evil designs on our freedom? Surely it is only a matter of time before the same patriots who, like Harry Accornero, questioned Obama’s origins and legitimacy – in fact, questioned them again and again and again – let their fellow citizens know that we are confronted with yet another pretender for the presidency. Won’t they sound the alarm?
Well, no, they won’t. In truth, Cruz is a darling of the Tea Party folks, many of whom – judging just by their signs at their rallies – are firmly in the Obama-as-alien camp. Yet it was with passionate Tea Party support that Cruz beat an establishment GOP senate candidate.
And it was they who gave him a rapturous reception just last week in Texas when he vowed to shut down the federal government, if necessary, to get rid of the Affordable Care Act. Excuse me, the dreaded Obamacare law. Which – in case you’ve missed the news – is the biggest single threat to American liberty in centuries. Well, Obamacare and the guy in the White House who is using his namesake program to destroy the nation as we have known and loved it.
So, the reasoning must go, if Cruz can kill Obamacare, well, he’s our man. Even if he was born in Calgary, Alberta. And his father was Cuban. Now Dad’s an American. Even if he didn’t decide he really, truly wanted to be an American until eight years ago.
Plus, you know, Cruz’s mother was born in Delaware. She was an American citizen! So Ted is one, too. That’s the way it works. Everyone knows that, right?
At this point, it’s worth a reminder that while, yes, Obama’s father was a visiting student from Kenya, Obama’s mother was in fact born in Kansas. An American citizen. Meaning Obama is indeed a citizen just as much as Cruz. Even more so, if that’s possible. Obama, after all, was born in Honolulu, Hawaii. Which (unlike Calgary, Alberta) is a genuine American city in a genuine American state, meaning Obama also was born on genuine American soil.
So, if Ted Cruz can be a genuine “natural born citizen” of the United State, that must mean Barack Obama is as well, right? So no more birther nonsense, right?
Yeah, I don’t think so either. People haven’t twisted themselves into illogical and irrational knots for so many years over all the reasons why Obama is – has to be – illegitimate to let the crazy dream die.
But it’s going to be a lot of fun in the months ahead to see those same right-thinking Americans tie themselves into more knots to try to explain how they can support one man while denouncing the other.
We got a glimpse of that a few days ago when ABC’s Jonathan Karl interviewed Donald Trump at a GOP casting call in Iowa. (And yes, The Donald is back, threatening to threaten to run again. 2016 might be a 2012 Republican rerun!)
As Trump blathered about his huge fortune, his great successes and his high intelligence, Karl began asking him about other possible candidates. Trump mostly dismissed them with faint, condescending praise.
Then Karl brought up the subject of Cruz and his Canadian-Cuban roots. The self-imagined great man looked startled, stammered a bit about how he didn’t know where Cruz was born. Then, reminded that he was darned near a one-man band on the birther bandwagon when it came to the president, Trump was asked if he thought Cruz, given his Canadian birth, would be eligible for the presidency.
Well, the casino magnate stumbled, “if” Cruz were born in Canada “perhaps” he couldn’t be president. And then, clearly discomfited, Trump mumbled, mysteriously, “That’s really his thing.”
As I said, it’s going to be exceedingly interesting to watch events unfolding in the many days ahead. Harry Accornero, you listening?
(Monitor columnist Katy Burns lives in Bow.)