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The Insiders

The Insiders: A slew of holidays you might not be familiar with

Concord Insider's Ben Conant and Keith Testa

(SAMANTHA GORESH / Monitor staff)

Concord Insider's Ben Conant and Keith Testa (SAMANTHA GORESH / Monitor staff)

Wow, can you believe it’s June 4 already! Seems like only yesterday we were celebrating all of the glorious holidays that fall on this date every year. What’s that? You’re not familiar with any holidays that fall on June 4? Well, let us take this opportunity to enlighten you so next year you’ll be able to celebrate the anniversary of the time we told you this. (Disclaimer: Some of these holidays are going to sound made up, but we swear they are real! Wink. Did we say wink, or did we wink? Seriously, though, these are all real.)

Applesauce Cake Day: Nothing tastes better June 4 than a delicious applesauce cake. Apparently, not only is that a kind of cake, but it has a whole holiday dedicated to it! We found several great-looking recipes, but we say food, like art, comes from the heart, not Martha Stewart’s website, so we suggest simply subbing applesauce in for any ingredient in your favorite cake recipe and see what happens.

Embarrassing Ailments Day: If there’s one thing people with embarrassing ailments love, it’s having them brought to light for all to see. That’s why Embarrassing Ailments Day is such a widespread success! So for all you suffering from loofah rash, puff knuckle, milk leg, face blindness, Urkel feet, veganism-induced flatulence, duckface, backne, frontne, all-overne, reverse vampirism, Charlie Chaplin lips, inverted eyeballs, daymares, Granola syndrome or sewing machine foot, congratulations! Today is your day (the other 364 days are not).

Frost Your Hair Day: There are plenty of salons and barbershops in town that would be more than willing to frost your hair today; however, we suggest taking it up a notch and heading to a bakery to get it done. That way, your coif will still get the same disapproving looks, but you’ll be able to reach up, grab a handful of frosting and bury your feelings in heaps of tasty chocolate.

Hug Your Cat Day: This one is self-explanatory. Grab your nearest cat and squeeze it like you were Lennie Small. Don’t have a cat? Borrow a neighbor’s or make one out of household scraps!

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