Hi 55° | Lo 38°
One Man

One Man’s Plan: Behold the passing of the expansive vocabulary

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Say goodbye to big words. I just learned the puppet masters at the College Board (“Ruining Teen Dreams since 1901!”) have determined that the verbal portion of the Scholastic Aptitude Test is just too hard for today’s youth. Starting in 2016, high school juniors and seniors with designs on post-secondary education will take a simpler test that emphasizes words they’re more likely to see in real life. Out are words like “dragoon,” “piebald” and “occlusion,” and in are more basic words like “friend,” “bunny” and “hug.” No more will college-bound kids memorize words like, “peccadillo” and “parsimonious,” instead dedicating their time to more apt expressions, …

One Man’s Plan: A 9-day detox cleanse? Just what the post-holiday bulge requires

Sunday, February 23, 2014

I need a change. The holidays should be a distant memory, but they’re still with me, right around my midsection. I guess all that beer, the Frito fiesta dips, triple-baked potato challenges and piece after piece of cake, pie and pizza went down too easily – taking with them my pride and self-respect. …

One Man’s Plan: Bad vision – it happens to the best of us

Sunday, January 12, 2014

‘I’ll never need eye glasses. They’re for people who didn’t eat enough carrots growing up. And everyone knows Clark Kent doesn’t put glasses on to become Superman.” These are the things I’ve said to myself over and over, proud I won’t be that chump in the monocle. I’m in my mid-40s and glasses …

One Man’s Plan: An Equation for Redemption

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Recently I wrote a few sentences about mathematics that could have been construed as less than supportive of the discipline. Yes, the word “hate,” was used, as in, “I hate math.” And I admit making comments on number-related …

One Man’s Plan: Learning to hate math all over again

Sunday, October 27, 2013

e_SSLqCan you help me with my math homework?” my daughter calls to me from the living room, motioning to an open textbook, pencil in hand. Nothing strikes terror in my heart like the words “math” and “help me” …

One Man’s Plan: Sandeep and Sully – a trip to India

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Describing a trip to India to someone who’s never been there is like explaining a dream from last night that makes you sound outhouse-rat bonkers. “And the podiatrist was this super tall pelican with a Wisconsin accent, a …

One Man's Plan: A night on Winnipesaukee with the Marine Patrol

Sunday, July 21, 2013

It’s close to 1 a.m. – the early hours of July Fourth – and there’s a man with curly hair sitting a few feet away from me trying to touch his fingers to his nose with his eyes …

One Man's Plan: A police K9 shouldn't make you cry

Sunday, April 21, 2013

I hear the beast before I see him, his humid, heavy breathing filling the darkness, bouncing off the discarded junk strewn across the factory floor. He’s trying to find me. I’m curled into a fetal ball in a …

One Man's Plan: Zombies stole my mind

Sunday, January 27, 2013

I miss the zombies. It’s been almost two months, and I miss their plodding gait, their gurgling moans and their unwavering quest for feasting on all things living. The Walking Dead, the greatest hour of zombie-themed televised entertainment …

One Man's Plan: Where's the heart in Christmas cards?

Sunday, December 16, 2012

With the yuletide clock ticking down on this holiday season, I need a time-out. A man can hear only so many versions of “Santa Baby” sung in a half-toddler, half-boozy-harlot voice before he questions his worth as a …

One Man's Plan: Time's up

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Are you ready for the end of the world? I just learned that on Dec. 21, Planet Earth will be engulfed by massive solar storms, followed by a cataclysmic reversal in the magnetic poles. And then, as if …

It's time to make the BAGELS

Sunday, October 21, 2012

It's time to choose. I've thought about it, weighed my options and considered the differences. Time's up. This decision I make may be the most important of my lifetime. My future hinges in the balance, and its importance cannot be overstated. What's it gonna be? Bagels or donuts? …