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One Man

One Man’s Plan: Behold the passing of the expansive vocabulary

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Say goodbye to big words. I just learned the puppet masters at the College Board (“Ruining Teen Dreams since 1901!”) have determined that the verbal portion of the Scholastic Aptitude Test is just too hard for today’s youth. Starting in 2016, high school juniors and seniors with designs on post-secondary education will take a simpler test that emphasizes words they’re more likely to see in real life. Out are words like “dragoon,” “piebald” and “occlusion,” and in are more basic words like “friend,” “bunny” and “hug.” No more will college-bound kids memorize words like, “peccadillo” and “parsimonious,” instead dedicating their time to more apt expressions, …

One Man’s Plan: A 9-day detox cleanse? Just what the post-holiday bulge requires

Sunday, February 23, 2014

I need a change. The holidays should be a distant memory, but they’re still with me, right around my midsection. I guess all that beer, the Frito fiesta dips, triple-baked potato challenges and piece after piece of cake, pie and pizza went down too easily – taking with them my pride and self-respect. …

One Man’s Plan: Bad vision – it happens to the best of us

Sunday, January 12, 2014

‘I’ll never need eye glasses. They’re for people who didn’t eat enough carrots growing up. And everyone knows Clark Kent doesn’t put glasses on to become Superman.” These are the things I’ve said to myself over and over, proud I won’t be that chump in the monocle. I’m in my mid-40s and glasses …