Growing up, Memorial Day meant marching in the town parade, observing the playing of taps and listening to a speech from a notable town citizen. It was one of the biggest events of the year, with the whole town gathered for the parade and ceremonies.
Even as a kid, I could feel the significance of the day. But when I was younger, I did not fully appreciate a subtle, yet important way that ceremonies in New Hampshire differ from others across the country.
I now recognize that New Hampshire’s Memorial Day ceremonies are exceptional for the number of veterans and military families marching in the parades and lining the main streets of our towns.
New Hampshire ranks among the highest in the country in terms of the percent of the population who are veterans. Across the state, the people leading, participating in and observing Memorial Day ceremonies have likely served in uniform themselves or had a family member or close friend serve. These connections to the military mean that the lives we honor on Memorial Day are those of fellow soldiers, friends, neighbors and loved ones.
As friends, family and people who served alongside those we honor on Memorial Day, we know that in addition to the singular act of sacrifice that the day commemorates, there are many more memories and experiences treasured by friends and loved ones.
For every picture of a soldier looking stoic, we know that there are many more pictures of that soldier smiling, wrestling with kids in a backyard, laughing with friends and holding a loved one’s hand. For every story of heroism, we know that there are many more stories of pranks played growing up, of embarrassing mistakes made in basic training, and of gestures of kindness to family and friends.
This knowledge makes the sense of loss more palpable on Memorial Day, but it also makes the feelings of solidarity more real.
Memorial Day originated with a call in 1868 from Maj. Gen. John Logan – the head of an organization of Union veterans – for a day to decorate the graves of the fallen. In his call, Logan said, “Let no vandalism of avarice or neglect, no ravages of time, testify to the present or to the coming generations that we have forgotten as a people the cost of a free and undivided republic.”
This is something that we shall not soon forget in New Hampshire.
(Dan Vallone is a West Point graduate who served six years on active duty as an infantry officer. He lives in Concord.)