Letter: A back-in circus

Friday, August 04, 2017
A back-in circus

I’m all for a safer Main Street, but I just can’t see some of Concord’s more “parking challenged” drivers pulling off the proposed back-in angle method. Our fair city has no shortage of Mr. and Mrs. Magoos who can’t handle simple curbside parking, leaving nearly half of their vehicle up on the sidewalk. Expecting them to pull off back-in angle parking will result in the real-life edition of dodge ’ems. Good biz for the Concord-area auto-body shops, though.

But if we’re going there, let’s do it up in style. Place a giant Ferris wheel on City Plaza, bookended by those gushing water fountains Misters Sink and Duprey once proposed for the same location. Parade some clowns, jugglers, a couple of mimes, stilt walkers and a bearded lady, all along the sidewalks. Turn the Franklin Pierce monument into a strongman carnival event; “Step right up! Use the sledgehammer to ring the bell under President Pierce’s chin, and win a Donald Trump bobblehead tweeting doll!”

Republicans will be lined up to Penacook for a chance.

Back-in angle parking on Concord’s Main Street – it’s gonna be just swell. Eat your jealous hearts out, Portsmouth and Salem.