I’m a child clinical psychologist, and I say no to (most) mental health days for kids.
Parents, teachers and employers will continue to have compassion for kids who could use a break in the wake of major stressful life events like parent divorce, death of a loved one or news of a life-altering illness. Our humanity in these circumstances will still shine through. By all means, most kids and adults need time off in these situations.
Most of the time, however, not going to school or work is exactly not what kids need.
To start, kids dodge the heaviest of mental illness burdens naturally. Severe mental illnesses like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder or recurrent major depressive episodes usually wait to show their full effects until adulthood. When these severe mental illnesses do appear, they can (although not always) make it very hard to work or go to school or take care of other responsibilities.
Most mental health symptoms in kids show up as anxiety or depression. The evidence- based treatments for anxiety and depression focus on continued engagement in life. This means doing the things that make you anxious — like talking in front of others, taking a test or meeting new people. Professionals call these activities in the face of anxiety “exposure” techniques. It also means doing things that are known to help with a depressed mood, like getting out of the house or being with others, also known as “behavioral activation” techniques for depression. If children (or adults) were to begin therapy for anxiety or depression, these would be the evidence-based strategies.
Schools offer supports to kids when mental health needs arise. Kids can usually take a short break, check-in with a school counselor or nurse, or access more accommodations when their mental health needs are serious.
There are also plenty of breaks built into the school year. Most kids go to school 180 of 365 days a year, with several planned days off sprinkled throughout the school year plus extended holidays. Ask any parent and they will tell you: kids get plenty of days off to rest and rejuvenate between the normal stressors of life.
If one does take a mental health day off, it should not look like spending time alone playing video games or watching your phone, which is what most kids would do with a day off if given the chance. Those activities do not improve mental health. Instead, a day off should be spent doing activities that we know boost mental health, such as exercise, being outdoors, being with loved ones or doing something helpful for another person or for your community.
Kids with mental health needs do need support — from family, friends, schools and sometimes professionals. And, nearly always, they need to go to school or work, to know that they can do hard things. It’s important for kids to learn that they can function and contribute to others or to society even when it is hard. Knowing that we all need breaks, and that a break will be coming soon.
Grit and resilience are important ingredients to good mental health. Letting kids miss school when they don’t feel like it strips away opportunities for them to build grit.
This will require the adults around kids to model grit. Adults can show kids how they go to work or do their chores despite their bad day, bad mood and despite (most) mental health symptoms. It’s good for the adults too.
Erin Barnett, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and Associate Professor of Psychiatry and The Dartmouth Institute for Health Policy and Clinical Practice at Dartmouth and Dartmouth Health. She is also a child and family therapist at a New Hampshire community mental health center.