Aaron Baker lives in Pembroke.
A few years ago, towards the end of a hectic day in the classroom when I was substituting as a one-on-one aide at a school in Concord, a student, Caleb, suddenly began shouting and throwing books and colored pencils. Mrs. Goodwin, his teacher, rushed across the room to calm him down and find out the reason for the outburst.
A group of kids had been making fun of Caleb because they thought he behaved oddly. They called him a freak. Led by Ethan, they had been picking on him all week and Caleb couldn’t take it anymore.
The common response would have been to punish those involved, but Mrs. Goodwin turned it into one of those unplanned teachable moments that pop up in classrooms.
She called the class together to talk about kindness and respecting people who are different. She explained we all have ways in which we’re unique — different backgrounds, beliefs, abilities, behaviors, and interests — and that diversity creates a beautiful mosaic.
It takes people with different skills and abilities to build a house or produce a movie, she said. If we want others to respect our uniqueness, we need to respect theirs.
We all fondly remember kind teachers like Mrs. Goodwin and hope our kids have teachers like her. Sadly, some people don’t appreciate schools teaching kids to treat everyone with respect and kindness, regardless of differences. They seem to have forgotten we need to give respect to get respect.
We were all taught the Golden Rule at church or synagogue, at our scout meetings, and at home. We also learned it at school. We were told when we treat everyone, regardless of who they are, with respect and kindness, we all enjoy a happier classroom and build a stronger community.
When we think about it, respect is a universal value. Since we all want others to respect us, we should all want a society guided by the values of respect and “do unto others.”
How is the Golden Rule playing out in our society today?
Hatred and disrespect soil traditional and social media. Teachers, medical professionals, and government workers get constantly bombarded with vitriol and even violent threats. How do the “F*** Biden” signs and flags littering our communities reflect these universal values?
Disrespect, hatred and violence are weaknesses of human nature, not values, and they undeniably violate the Golden Rule.
If those anti-values fill our society, we shouldn’t be surprised when they spill over into our community schools. However, it’s still shocking to hear government officials, particularly Education Commissioner Edelblut, urging disrespect for those he deems unacceptably different. What kind of person scorns the Golden Rule?
He laments the violation of our sacred trust while churning up hatred for “rogue teachers” who, the same as generations of teachers before them, encourage their students to show respect for all types of people. Sacred trust in education depends on teaching science, facts and reason, not bowing to the whims of ideology.
For instance, contrary to Edelblut’s ideology around gender, nature is more complex than just XX (typically female) or XY (typically male) chromosomes. Some people have XXY, XYY, XXYY, or XO (only one X chromosome). There are even XY females and XX males. Nothing in nature is ever black or white, on or off.
Understanding the science behind the variations found in nature allows us to respect genetic and chromosomal differences. When you understand something, you break free from fearing it. In contrast, ideological indoctrination (often disguised as “family values”) prevents understanding by stoking fear of the Other.
Respecting family values certainly sounds reasonable. Edelblut and others want you to forget, though, that families hold a variety of values, not just Edelblut’s exclusive, narrowly-defined ones.
Teachers must navigate all those family values.
Consider a teacher siding with the views of a conservative student wearing a “Let’s Go, Brandon” shirt (which, in case you didn’t know, is a euphemism for “f*** Joe Biden”). Doing so shows bias against the many students, and their family values, who find that insult unacceptable. If a teacher sides with a student wearing a gay pride shirt, he shows bias against the views held by some conservative Christians.
What if the teacher, trying to be as neutral as possible, respects the values and differences of all students and treats them all the same?
Mrs. Goodwin attempted this with her discussion. She knew a little of Caleb’s background and challenges and even more of Ethan’s. Their families and personalities were quite different, but the two boys shared a love of drawing and fishing. While there were still some difficulties, they got along much better after they discovered common interests.
We used to celebrate and honor teachers like Mrs. Goodwin who look out for the best interests of all their students. Let’s not allow anyone to manipulate us into losing respect for the challenging work these professionals do every day.
Equally important, we need to restore the Golden Rule in our broader society.
It makes a useful moral guide when evaluating what our leaders say and in deciding whether to share a social media post filled with disrespect and hatred.
I have faith that most of us recognize this higher value.
Let the Golden Rule shine through you and block out the darkness of hatred.
That’s the country most of us want.
Editor’s note: The names of the students and teacher in this My Turn have been changed to maintain their privacy.