My friend base includes people of all ages who range in technological literacy from “Does Not Own Computer” to “Over-The-Top-Geek.” Most of them are on Facebook.

At either end of the Facebook scale are those who have already moved on to Twitter and other trendy forms of social media, to those who use Facebook sparingly to share photos and news with family and a small group of close friends.

Then there are those who are very suspicious of posting anything online and refuse to do anything at all with social media. Their distrust mostly comes from a combination of ignorance about the medium and having heard horror stories of photos or posts that come back to haunt someone with disastrous consequences.

Yes, identity theft and hacking of one’s accounts does happen. There are ways of minimizing the chances of this with a little savvy and a lot of common sense. As for posts coming back to haunt you, a good rule of thumb is, don’t put anything online that you wouldn’t want to see in the newspaper.

So, for example, if all the world – including your mom and boss – knows you are a party animal, it wouldn’t matter if that drunken selfie appeared on the front page. Especially if that was your boss photobombing in the background.

However, it is good to remember that social networks are, after all, networks. So if you are only friends on Facebook with those who know what you do after hours, don’t think you’re safe. Because one of your friends might also be friends with another friend who is friends with her mother, who is friends with your mother. And if they all thought that image of you at the party was hysterical, and shared it with their friends, who shared it . . . well, you get the picture. And so did your mom.

My writing friends, like many professionals, use social media for promotional purposes. They share their blog, book covers, convention appearances, book signings, reviews and so forth. They do everything they can to get themselves and their work out there, shared as widely as possible.

I do a bit of that, but I know writers who are much better at it and market themselves very effectively through the media. It takes time and effort, but can pay off handsomely if you know what you are doing. The key is to stay ahead of the curve.

You need to find unique ways to promote yourself. Once others notice something someone has done that works, they all try it. The noise level gets deafening really fast, and when you are just one more among millions, nobody is going to notice you.

When Facebook first came out, I remember hearing the derisive comments. Usually it was somebody older criticizing “these kids who think all these ‘friends’ are really their friends.” Next would come the “in my day” rant.

Friends were people you actually knew, that you visited face to face or called on the phone. They were people who would be there to help out when you needed it. These so-called Facebook “friends” aren’t friends at all. They can create profiles to make them seem like anything they want. You don’t really know them. Friends get together, know each other, do things together. That’s the way human beings are meant to interact.

Well, maybe.

Social media is a tool. Yes, you can hurt yourself with it. But you can also build something wonderful.

I have built a strong, warm network of friendships. Real friendships with people I have a lot in common with. Separated by distance or busy schedules, we don’t get a lot of face time. But we all keep in touch.

When one of us has a problem or needs advice, we do our best to help. We promote each other’s work, share each other’s good news, sympathize with bad days, encourage each other and support each other. Groups form to share special interests and you don’t need to live within driving distance to belong.

When disaster struck and a friend had to move his family and household on short notice and a tight budget, the word spread on Facebook, and friends swarmed in to help pack and truck. I’ve been going through some very difficult times, and have needed a lot of advice and support. My friends have never let me down.

Some might argue you could accomplish the same thing with email, or by doing what folks used to do to spread the word: use the telephone. Email is good, but Facebook does it better. And some of us hate using the telephone.

I used to think I was the only oddball who dreaded making and answering phone calls. I discovered how many others felt the same when I, you guessed it, posted on Facebook about it and got a huge response.

There’s nothing wrong with old-fashioned friendships. I’ve got them, too (in fact, most of us are also friends on Facebook).

But social media has opened up a whole wider world of keeping in touch and providing mutual support. I know; I have benefitted richly from it.

*hugs*

(Justine “Mel” Graykin lives and writes in Deerfield, and practices freelance philosophy on her website at justinegraykin.com.)