The topic of sexual violence has been at the forefront recently with the Monitor’s front-page articles and U.S. Rep. Ann Kuster’s “Voices for Change” panel discussions around the state, along with the recent outing of a viciously misogynist rape “apologist” in our state Legislature.
Now that this crucial dialogue has begun, what remains is what we need to do to address these real attacks against real people. We cannot claim unawareness of this pervasive social plague any longer.
One in four women and one in 20 men in New Hampshire will be impacted by sexual violence. These are our friends, neighbors and colleagues who are being traumatized at home, in the workplace and throughout our communities.
In 2016, I quietly ended a 24-year association with St. Paul’s School as an adjunct faculty member, starting in music, extending to the sciences, and ending with working with the chaplaincy as a chapel wood-carver, gilder and calligrapher.
I was an assisting chapel organist, and in spite of my lowly off-and-on adjunct status, I was more involved within the school than usual – over the years, I lectured or presented in every school department except for athletics.
When asked one time about whether I’d consider resident-faculty status, I refused the suggestion as I preferred the freedom of the adjuncts.
From the beginning, I have been outraged over the assault on Chessy Prout and how the school has responded.
The perpetrator has expressed neither regret nor contrition, and he has openly thumbed his nose in complete contempt at the school, public, legal system and most of all, his victim and her family.
From behind his fake Harry Potter masquerade, he even now contemptuously dares anyone to do anything about his actions and his attitude. And it was only last year that we learned that this low-income student, who was given a full scholarship to attend the school, was able to hire on his high-powered and very expensive attorneys by means of financial support from a ring of St. Paul’s School alumni.
Chessy chose to deal with her assault by going public with it, and pursuing this in a court of law, where she was subjected to the egregiously vicious public pillorying attacks that are part of the common tactics of defense attorneys in rape cases.
I continue to be amazed by Chessy’s strength and resiliency both as she pursued justice and now, as she serves as a voice for victims everywhere. But, from her very first reports to the Concord police, her subsequent statements, her testimony in court, and what she has recounted since, she never changed her story in any way.
Her treatment in court vividly shows why rape/sexual assault is so very under-reported and why so many cases do not make it to trial.
Even after coming forward and demonstrating such strength in enduring the criminal justice process, she was failed by the school – again.
On returning as a second-year student, she was subjected to bullying with the accompanying ostracism that caused her to leave for good. St. Paul’s School is a boarding facility taking on live-in minors, separated from their families, thus itself having to assume full in loco parentis status with all the legal responsibilities entailed.
The school is supposed to have many levels of student support, from house masters to individual faculty advisers, support groups of various kinds, the chaplaincy, health center, provost and administration – and yet, every school entity failed Chessy Prout.
Why was she so unsupported to the point of leaving, whilst the perpetrator ended up getting his support from school alumni (albeit without approval from the school itself)?
I would like to think even now that the unethical way in which the school has conducted itself since the assault and the trial is due to the advisement of its insurance company and law firm. If that is so, then what is stopping the school from seeking more ethical representation? Why had the school, in effect, attempted to vacate its agreed, legal and binding in loco parentis responsibilities to Prout and her family, regarding the upcoming trial in federal court? Wasn’t she a minor living on campus away from her family? If not the school, who is responsible, then? What led the school to attempt the intimidating tactic of forcing public disclosure of the Prout family – who have two generations at St. Paul’s School – in a motion pertaining to the upcoming trial?
And never mind that Prout checkmated that action by going public herself on national television, and her open advocacy since.
As for that nasty “senior salute” sexual conquest “game,” if it had existed for three years, then how could it have stayed under the radar within such an intimate, close-knit community? What did the staff and administration know and when did they know it? How did those senior boys acquire a key to what was supposed to be a secure, off-limits place?
The “senior salute” may not of itself have been a school “tradition” – not for lack of trying, right? – but its presence is a part of a much longer historical thread of inappropriate sexual behavior there.
Has the school looked into, inquired about or considered exploring the newly created teen dating violence curricula developed by the N.H. Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence and its 13 member programs? Has the school reached out to its local crisis center to bring age-appropriate prevention programming to its students? If not, then why not?
What is most outrageous of all is the deafening silence. I am told that I am the only faculty member, adjunct or resident, current or former, to openly protest the school’s handling of this case. Why haven’t we heard any outrage from St. Paul’s School alumni – instead, hearing only from those openly supporting the perpetrator? Why are the alumni quietly allowing the school to control this dialogue at the expense of the victims?
As an advocate of several decades in this field, I knew I could not support the school any further in any way. I have joined my efforts and advocacy with the N.H. Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence to continue speaking out about sexual abuse, and I strongly urge others to do the same.
We must let victims know that they are not alone and unsupported.
Such actions – and the silence – since the rape and the first trial have left me feeling disgusted and betrayed. But my feelings about this are insignificant, even nothing, when compared to what was done to Chessy Prout, and what she and her family have had to go through, before and since.
(R.P. Hale lives in Concord.)