The way one moves through life’s miles is a matter of choice. You can speed along just trying to get from one rest stop to the next – first real job, marriage, a house, kids, a big promotion, empty nest, retirement – or you can turn off the GPS, travel the back roads, cross oceans if you’re lucky, and connect with as many different people and places as possible. But here’s the scary part: Sometimes you don’t fully realize how you chose to travel until the trip is almost over.
With that in mind, Class of 2018, we welcome you to your latest milestone. Kick back, relax, enjoy the summer – you’ve earned it. For those of you who have the journey ahead all mapped out, including all the rest stops and detours, we hope everything goes according to plan and that you find happiness along the way. Godspeed. But for the rest of you, the ones who are not quite sure about the next 10 feet never mind the next 10 miles, we made you a care package.
First of all, care for yourself. Be kind to your body (your middle-age self is begging you) and also your mind. You will make mistakes – many, many mistakes – but don’t relive them endlessly. Learn, and move on. Nobody thinks about your shortcomings nearly as much as you think they do; they’re too busy thinking about their own. When your internal newsreel starts playing all of the embarrassing and stupid things you’ve done or said, or the hurtful things that have been done or said to you, remind yourself that you’re the one in charge of the projector.
Care for the community. Introduce yourself to all your neighbors, visit schools (even if you don’t have kids) and churches (even if you aren’t religious), get a library card, learn a little town or city history, volunteer, shop locally and, most importantly, let your voice be heard. The decisions made by your local and state governments, and your neighbors at the ballot box, will often affect your quality of life far more than those made in Washington.
Care for others, near and far. Compassion and empathy do not require that you choose between being an American citizen and being a global citizen. Where there is poverty and you can give, give. Where there is injustice and you can fight, fight. Where there is tragedy and you can comfort, comfort. Right now, millions of Americans are online arguing about politics just to win an argument about politics. In the silence are those too busy giving of themselves to debate who is more deserving of their kindness.
Care for your time. Work hard and fight for causes that move you, but don’t become so focused on what is wrong with the planet that you deprive yourself of all that makes it worth saving. You can’t read every book, hike every trail, watch every sunset or listen to everyone’s story, but joy is found in the trying.
Care for the friends and family who care about you. Say “I love you” often and with abandon. Say it as if it’s the last time you’ll have the chance, because sometimes it will be.
That’s about all we can fit, so we’ll seal it with a note: A lot of people live their life as if it begins at the next rest stop. Land that job, and all will be well; marry that person, and all will be well; buy that house, and all will be well; get that raise, and all will be well; retire, and all will be well. But somewhere after the final rest stop, when the last bit of light begins to fade, it occurs to them that they spent the whole trip with their eyes fixed on the horizon. Life didn’t pass them by, it was the other way around.
That, they whisper, was no way to travel.