It’s that time of year again. A new year is about to unfold and bring with it a heavy dose of reality for the citizens of Concord. My crystal ball is not happy.
First on the list of my New Year predictions is a perennial: the Concord School Board. It will still be here. No amount of money, talent, competency, politics or common sense will have any effect on it. It is like wading through poison ivy. Don’t mess with the school board.
Next on my list is White Park. In a unanimous vote, the City Council will vote to rename the park. It will now be known as the White Recreation Center. The loss of trees and grass have eclipsed its function as a park. Armenia White would not be pleased.
The new year will finally confirm the closing of Mr. Sears and Mr. Roebuck’s emporium in the Steeplegate Mall. Another nail in the coffin of that mall.
In an unexpected announcement, the Concord Chamber of Commerce will close. It is rumored that a general lack of interest in commerce was the primary motivation for its departure.
It is not a stretch to predict that Concord will set new records for charging the highest rates for downtown public parking in America. There will be a flat rate of $30 dollars for 30 minutes of parking. Scofflaws will receive a minimum fine of $500 and 1 to 3 years in the N.H. State Prison.
The Heights. In an acrimonious public hearing, the City Council will table a motion to divest the Heights as a part of the City of Concord. It would have become the Town of Birdland.
The Concord Police Department will get a new home. The former N.H. Employment Security building will nicely fill the needs of our municipal police force. It will feature a large and welcoming public lobby, a first in modern police practices. It will give new meaning to “Serve and protect.”
Rumors have it that any form of colorful after-dark illumination of Main Street buildings will become a felony offense. First offenders will be fined $5,000, tared and feathered and escorted to the city limits. Repeat offenders will be burned in effigy at the stake in front of the State House in a colorful illumination ceremony.
Property taxes. In an unexpected unanimous vote, the city council announced that there will not be any increase in city property taxes in the next budget. It is rumored that public employees will wear black arm bands in protest of the lack of wage increases.
In an audacious attempt to propel Concord into the 21st century, a plan to build a high tech transit system to serve downtown Concord and surrounding neighborhoods will met with skepticism. The local Illuminati will claim that such a monstrous intrusion is not what Concord is all about. That same crowd had similar thoughts about after dark Main Street building illumination.
Finally, Concord will have to come to grips with who and what we are. It will pit those who have a sleepy, genteel, entitled patrician “Not in My Backyard” attitude against those who want to see Concord grow and prosper. I will vote for the latter.
(Jim Baer lives in Concord.)