This is a letter for white folks, from a white person who has watched a particular situation unfold over the past few weeks. As one of the lead organizers of Concord’s Showing Up for Racial Justice chapter, I have an interest in calling white folks into anti-racism work and sharing what acceptable behavior can look like in difficult situations.
By now just about everyone has heard of the repeated use of a racial slur by Democratic Rep. Nicole Klein Knight in the public sphere during a conversation with a Black activist. Since that incident, a coalition of people has spoken out, some against her actions and others jumping to her defense.
It needs to be said at the outset of this letter, that there is never any reason to use a racial slur in any context. There are acceptable ways to refer to the language used to refer to African Americans.
A defining feature of this issue is that Rep. Klein Knight is (still) an elected official. As a society, we have always held our elected officials to a higher standard of ethics. Rep. Klein Knight is no exception. There is a trust given to our elected officials that, once violated, requires swift and proportionate measures to restore that trust.
In addition to all of this, Rep. Klein Knight was someone many thought of as an ally in the fight against white supremacy. Regardless of the reasons for her behavior, she not only damaged the relationships she had been bestowed through her career, but she damaged what trust exists within our small multi-racial coalition focused on mutual liberation. It’s a story that we have all seen play out time and again — white folks believe they are allies, until they suddenly are not.
Whenever something horrible happens, specifically when a white person does something horrible to a person of color, other white folks often have a lot to say, be it in the defense of an action or speaking out against it. Watching recent events unfold is just a reminder of a disappointing history as well as a cautionary tale of the risk BIPOC folks take when they place their trust in us, their white neighbors.
The hope is that when our white comrades go out into the world and join the work of fighting racism, they do the least amount of harm possible. Most white folks want to feel like one of the “good” ones and we want people to have the tools to actually do good. Moments like these are difficult to swallow because they remind us of the precarious place we exist in as white people in the world.
So, what should a white person do if they say something offensive, like the “N-word,” and they want to correct that harm?
Apologize to the person you hurt, and do so in an authentic and meaningful way by centering their experience, not you as the perpetrator.
Become more self-reflexive and try to come to an understanding as to why you thought to cause harm in the first place. What fears and emotions led you to that decision at that time?
Offer to coordinate and participate in a restorative justice plan to repair the harm done. For elected officials, this might mean resigning.
Move on, but acknowledge that this is a teachable moment for yourself and others who can learn from your mistakes.
What if you’re not the person who did the horrible thing, but you have considered the perpetrator a colleague, maybe even a friend?
Use your relationship to enter into a conversation with the person as to why they behaved the way they did. Often, your effort to gain a better understanding of their frame of mind will help them realize that they should follow the above suggestions for reconciliation.
Use the situation as an opportunity for your own internal inventory. How are you showing up for the community that was just assaulted? How can you continue to work to repair the damage done?
Move on. Continuing to make the conversation about how you do or don’t support the perpetrator is more white centering.
This unfortunate situation should remind us, white people, that the dismantling of internalized racism and bias is a life-long process: it is work that we never finish. Working for racial justice is hard. No matter how hard it is or what might be happening in our lives, there is never any excuse for using racial slurs or any language that is offensive.
(Sarah Robinson is a lead organizer of Concord’s Showing Up for Racial Justice chapter.)