Deborah R. Hoffer, M.D. lives in Hanover. Erik Shessler M.D., is the current president of the NH Chapter of the American Academy of Pediatrics. Steven H. Chapman M.D., is the immediate past president of NH Chapter of the American Academy of Pediatrics.
As primary care pediatricians, weโve each had a few really memorable patient encounters. One such encounter happened just a few months ago, with twelve-year-old Blake. Blake had been coming to our office since birth, but until that day, as a girl named Emma.
But thatโs not what was memorable. The memorable part was the story he and his mom proceeded to tell. Blake had recently revealed his gender identity to his parents and said they had taken it โpretty well, they only freaked out when I told them what name Iโd chosen.โ
โWhy did they freak out about โBlakeโ?โ we asked.
โNo,โ said his mom, laughing. โHe initially chose the name Sam.โ She continued, still laughing, โhis older brother goes by John, but thatโs his middle name. His first name is really Samuel!โ
โBut heโs not using it!โ cried out Blake.
โNot the point, Blake,โ his mom replied, still laughing. โYou canโt have your brotherโs name.โ
We then went on to complete Blakeโs physical exam and made plans for next steps.
What a lucky child. He clearly felt safe enough at home to reveal his male identity to his parents. In private, his mother admitted that she and his father were struggling a bit, but they were committed to supporting Blake in whatever way they could. What a gift they are giving him, I thought.
This gift is not as common as it should be, which is why we as physicians, and as parents, friendsย and citizens, need to oppose the current state legislative effort to forcibly reveal childrenโs gender identities to their parents. The New Hampshire legislature is currently considering HB 1431, a โParentsโ Bill of Rights,โ which lays out the rights parents have to be involved in their childrenโs school life:ย academics, extracurriculars, field trips, and so on.
It affirms that parents are entitled to receive report cards, changes to 504 plans, and other very reasonable pieces of information. However, buried in a long paragraph in a subsection of a subsection, it states that parents have the right to be notified if anyone related to the school system โfinds the need for any action by school authorities relating to the student pursuant to school policies governing โฆgender expression or identityโฆโ In other words, if a child requests in school to go by a different name or pronoun series, school affiliates would be required to reveal this change to the parents, even against the wishes of the child.
Why is such a policy necessary? Clearly, students like Blake, who feel safe discussing gender identity with their parents, will do so without a policy. Therefore, this policy is targeted at students who donโt feel safe doing so, who believe that revealing this information will cause psychological, or even physical, harm.
But will mandating that the schools violate their privacy fix this problem? Of course, there may be some children who, because of this bill, learn that they were mistaken and that their parents do support them. But for the vast majority, this is unlikely to be true. So, they will either keep their gender identity hidden at home andย at schoolย or they will risk being โoutedโ to disapproving parents.
Either way, there are significant risks to these children. Transgender and gender non-conforming students have rates of depression that are twice that of their gender-conforming peers, and rates of suicidality that are between two and ten times that of the general population.
Furthermore, the rate of suicide attempts for transgender and gender non-conforming youth who live in unsupportive homes is a full fifty percent higher than those who consider their homes supportive. However, for those who go to schools with supportive environments, their rates of depression, anxiety and suicide attempts are significantly lower. We canโt legislate home life, but we can do our best to keep schools supportive sanctuaries.
As pediatricians, it is our role to support both our patients and their parents, and usually, their interests are aligned. But, when they are not, it is especially important that we find ways to be supportive of both. It is false to think that we have to choose one orย the other; we do it all the time.
But this bill does just that. It endeavors to support parents by violating the rights of vulnerable children. The Attorney Generalโs Office opposes this bill, as do numerous civil rights and LGBTQ+ rights groups, as well as teachers’ unions. We applaud Gov. Sununu for recognizing the damage this bill could do and vowing to veto it.
Letโs work together to find alternative ways to support both children and their parents in our collective effort to raise physically and mentally healthy children.