As a child growing up in the Concord of a half century ago, we were not simply aware of social etiquette but we certainly had our own customs. During the summers in Concord our time was spent swimming in the long-abandoned quarries on Rattlesnake Hill, fishing at Horseshoe Pond, riding for miles along the back roads surrounding our little city. We would spend time visiting the local swimming pools, catching and releasing frogs at the White Park Pond and certainly finding a pick-up game of baseball or football with the other children found at the park on any particular day. A visit to the corner store for a five-cent popsicle or a snow cone from Dan the Ice Cream man was a luxury on a hot summer day too. This is what we did growing up in Concord during the 1960s and 1970s. It was a custom and accepted way to spend the long hot days of summer, followed by winter fun skating and sliding at our favorite ponds and on our favorite hills.
Concord was a very different place for our ancestors, our great grandparents living in Concord during the Victorian Era enjoyed their own social customs and followed some very old-fashioned rules that are sure to entertain us today. During the Victorian period starting in 1837 and concluding around 1901 our great grandparents and grandparents experienced many of the customs and traditions that I have mentioned from my early years, yet there were many additional activities that I was not able to participate in growing up in Concord, times were different and more challenging.
If a gentleman encountered a young lady while walking along Main Street in Concord the lady would raise her dress with her right hand just above the ankle while crossing pavement. She would never raise her dress with both hands for that would be perceived as inappropriate.
While engaged at work the “small talk” and “gossip” was frequently a part of life. Most woman were not employed and gentlemen working in industries such as the granite or railroad businesses participated in their fair share of banter and practical jokes. As the men left work and traveled about town with their spouses and children it was considered inappropriate to engage in “small talk.” If a friend was encountered it was considered socially rude to engage, if a conversation was warranted it was expected to be at length and involved to be considered appropriate.
A Victorian Era gentleman would be wise to never bow to a lady on the street from a window but the reverse was quite acceptable, the gentleman could bow to a lady in a window while walking upon a street. Bowing to any lady in public was risky behavior in some towns where gossip might be found with this encounter.
When the Victorian husband would leave home to travel to his place of employment the wife would most certainly part with loving words and a tender kiss for the departure could certainly be their last.
If our ancestors were walking upon the street and encountered a known friend the manner to engage publicly was very important. A simple hello was acceptable, but a greeting involving any descriptive word was considered rude. You simply did not pass another Victorian Era gentleman on the street and say “Hello Buddy” or “Hello Pal”. This behavior was considered to be unacceptable and not appropriate when in the company of others.
As a child growing up in Concord, I was very fortunate to enjoy the company of my elder relatives. I have heard many stories and enjoyed them to a very good degree. I have learned that the people living a century and half ago walking the very same streets we walk today were not different than we might be. We had the same desires, emotions and families. We wanted the best for our children and hoped the years would be healthy and prosperous. Our ancestors lived life during trying times, the Victorian Era proprieties were certainly embraced to a higher degree by people of means, while the remaining citizens tried their best to engage in an acceptable manner avoiding etiquette that seemed to be inappropriate.
We now live in a generation that is steeped with social media and less social interaction in person. The barn raising, bon fires and sleigh rides of the past might still exist to a smaller degree, but the abundance of contact our ancestors experienced has certainly lessoned.
I find a deep sense of nostalgia when I recall the Concord of 50 years ago, my thoughts wander back to a time that was lived fully but simply. Progress means change and the coming years will show us many new things both good and perhaps not so good. Regardless of the outcome of the approaching years my Vintage Views will remain intact, entertaining and hopefully well read by you.