Parker Potter is a former archaeologist and historian, and a retired lawyer. He is currently a semi-professional dogwalker who lives and works in Contoocook.
My daily walk in Contoocook takes me through the heart of the Hopkinton High School athletic complex, gym on the left, playing fields on the right. That part of my walk often makes me think about youth sports, but not the thrill of the victories I have watched, the agony of the defeats I have witnessed, or even my general antipathy for the youth sports industrial complex.
Rather, I think about the life lessons I have seen young athletes learn by playing sports. After all, few high school athletes will ever play organized sports after they graduate, but they will all be human beings for the rest of their lives.
In the fifth grade, my daughter was placed on the 5/6 “B” team for basketball. Concerned that some of his players might be disappointed by not making the “A” team, my daughter’s coach, Dave Chase, told the team, at the very first practice, that being on the “B” team would not prevent them from going as far as they wanted to in basketball if they put in the work.
The program for my daughter’s senior game in high school, seven seasons later, has a photo of the four 2020 seniors, three of whom were at least two-year starters. One was on the 5/6 “A” team. Two were on the “B” team. And one didn’t even start playing basketball until she was in the sixth grade and played on the “B” team. Coach Chase was right. Hard work paid off.
During my daughter’s fifth-grade season, there was a game where her team was down a couple of players. In the middle of the game, Coach Chase taught the team how to play a full-court press, something they had never worked on in practice. They won the game. About half the girls on that team never played basketball past the sixth grade, but they all learned a valuable lesson about being adaptable and receptive to learning new things.
After my daughter’s eighth-grade basketball season, her coach, Pat Roye, took the team to a college game. He spent the whole bus ride back talking to each eighth-grader, asking what classes she’d be taking as a freshman and giving them thumbnail introductions to their future teachers. Those girls learned that their coach prioritized the student part of being a student-athlete. None of those eighth-graders went on to play college basketball, but they’re all thriving in their lives after high school.
Youth sports have also allowed me to see tremendous examples of personal growth. I remember one girl who, when I first saw her play basketball, was a bit self-centered on the court. By her senior year, she was an excellent teammate and leader, just as happy to set up a teammate for a basket as she was to drain a three-pointer herself.
Turning to track, my daughter ran on the 4 x 400 relay team her freshman year. Late in the season, they were qualified for the state meet, but just barely. There was one girl on the track team but not on the relay team because she saw herself as a 100-meter runner, not a 400-meter runner. Her teammates and coaches knew better. After they convinced her to join the 4 x 400 relay team, it moved up from 14th in the state to 5th in the state in just two meets. The reluctant relay runner learned a valuable lesson about trying new things and pushing herself.
The most impressive youth sports moment I ever saw took place in the championship game of a 5/6 girls’ basketball tournament. Our best player was injured and unable to play. But our team still won. Before our star was injured, she played unselfishly, always sharing the ball with her teammates, even though she was better than them at everything. As a result, when the star was not there, all of her teammates knew exactly how to do their jobs on the court. Only one kid on that team made it to senior night, but they all learned a lesson about teamwork that will stay with them forever.
My daughter’s middle school basketball team lost four straight games to Merrimack Valley. After her eighth-grade season, she and a fellow Hopkinton teammate tried out for the Penacook Pride, an AAU team composed mostly of players from Merrimack Valley. The two Hopkinton Hawks made the Pride and were welcomed warmly by their former opponents and their families. I was thrilled that basketball helped my daughter make friends from another town and today, five years after she last wore a Pride uniform, she is still friends with some of her Pride teammates.
My daughter no longer plays competitive basketball, but when it comes to meeting new people and landing on her feet in unfamiliar situations, she’s nothing but net. I attribute some of that to her experiences in youth sports. In the end, victories on the field are great but ultimately transient. The life lessons that can be learned from participating in youth sports are the gold medal that’s really worth winning.