Kearsarge varsity volleyball coach Meg Lane sat her team in a circle before the season began. Her first priority was to work through defensive rotations. Her second was to discuss how her stage 4 cancer will affect their season.
The 42-year-old mother of five didn’t dive into all of the details of the metastatic colon cancer she’s battled since February. She explained that she might miss some games or practices for hospital visits, but she was committed to seeing the season through with her girls.
That drive to keep pushing forward, no matter the circumstances, has brought everyone in her world closer.
“I think it’s hard to talk about because nobody actually wants to face the reality of it, including myself. You act normal and you live normal, and life is normal,” Lane said.
But life has veered far from “normal.”
Home
In the quiet living room of her home in Wilmot, Meg Lane sat across from the rest of her family. The late summer sun shone through the window as she thought of their future without her.
Two sat on one couch: her son, Justin St. Onge, who had just graduated from Kearsarge, and her eldest daughter, Myranda St. Onge, who moved home and quit her job to care for her mother. Her husband, Josh Lane and their daughter, Harper Lane, sat quietly together on the other couch.
Myranda got a part-time job at Meg’s former workplace, Manchester Urology and has dedicated herself to chauffeuring her mom wherever she needs to go while taking care of things around the house.
They were all faced with similar fears and pains. It’s taken a toll and forced them to step back.
“It’s one of those things where it’s like, I don’t know, we’re okay. Like, if you know she’s not in the hospital, it’s a good day. If she’s able to breathe, it’s a good day,” Myranda said.
The family moved there from Laconia in search of peace, quiet and a tight-knit community. That’s exactly what they’ve found in the area. Volleyball helped a lot.
Justin remembers being at the games, putting up posters around the school. He was actually the one who pushed his mom to make the jump into volleyball coaching. He knew his peers wanted a team. By the time his mom was diagnosed as he entered his senior year of lacrosse, he felt the support radiating from the walls around him.
“Mom started coaching cheer and volleyball, and slowly we started branching out more,” Justin said. “We’re definitely part of something.”
The future is still unclear for her. Whether she has six months to a year and what that might actually look like. That’s why staying focused on the things she cares about most has been grounding for her.
Volleyball
Lane always loved volleyball. She played varsity in high school and when the family moved to the Kearsarge school district, she was surprised to find there was no team at the high school.
That’s how she embarked on a years-long mission to give girls the opportunity to compete, like she once did.
Now in her third year of coaching, the team has built itself up from the bottom of Division III. The team has matched its all-time win record at 2-8 this season, and her players have rallied through thick and thin to give it their best shot.
Two seniors, captain Aly Wheeler, Veontha Bresnahan and junior Lily Lepenven have been coached by Lane throughout their volleyball careers. They know their roles now and have put last season’s tumultuous season behind them.
They know that no matter what, they’ll play their hearts out for the team, even if Lane isn’t on the sidelines to shout instructions at them.
“I think it’s definitely an adjustment because we’re used to her being here all the time with us, and we definitely appreciate, more than anything, her still choosing to be here with us,” Wheeler said.
Captain Taylor White and JV/Assistant Coach Kristi Lepenven, and Athletic Director Taylor Lipinski have put in extra work to help her out.
The girls talked about how much co-planning goes into managing the schedules for everyone. This year, compared to last, they want to keep the stress level low for everyone involved, especially Lane.
This spring, Lipinski addressed the community to share Lane’s story.
“Her unselfishness has already made a profound impact on our school, and in this moment, she continues to model exactly what it means to be part of the Kearsarge family: to care deeply, to commit fully, and to compete, not just in sport, but in life. Meg is fighting not only for herself, but for her family and for this community she has given so much to,” Lipinski wrote at the time.
Lane’s commitment has been clear throughout. The chemotherapy took a big toll, and she contracted a really bad pneumonia and developed a pulmonary embolism. She was hospitalized for 11 days.
Soon after, she returned to coaching at games and practices. Lane was recently accepted into a clinical trial in Boston, where she is receiving new medications with the goal of stopping blood flow to the cancer.
The trial has her driving down to Boston for one-to-three-day stints. The traveling alone is taking a toll. But, she said, the trial is helping her feel better — more like herself.
A bucket list
When faced with death and a rough timeline of how much time she had left, Lane and her family knew a few things needed to be done.
For starters, Thanksgiving’s going to look a bit different this year. Between Justin going to New Hampshire Fire Academy and other scheduling conflicts, the family is going on a cruise to Mexico joined by their closest friends — a getaway from the cold.
She hopes to visit a few countries, especially Ireland. Despite her natural red hair, Lane said a DNA test told her she’s Swedish and French Canadian. She doesn’t know if she’ll get there yet. Another bucket list item is going to see Taylor Swift live in concert, but those tickets can be worth a pretty penny.
Leading her volleyball team to a successful season is, of course, also on the list.
“The more I think about the bucket list, it’s just making memories and spending time with my kids, and having a great volleyball team,” she said.
Many things she wants to see, she knows she’ll miss. Her children’s futures: Weddings, grandchildren, career milestones. She dreamt of having even more dogs than the four she already has, and won’t get to know those new friends. The chance to grow old with her best friend, her husband. All of it makes her choke up.
“I always try to stay strong because, yes, I am the one with cancer, but everybody else here also has cancer technically because they all have to deal with me and it,” Lane said. “We’re all going through something, and it’s definitely brought us a lot closer, I think, as a family.”
An online fundraiser for the family, started by Meg’s good friend Jillian Tully, was created to support them through the costs of medical treatment.