(Last week, we asked readers this question: Should communities celebrate the longevity of their eldest citizens, and, if so, how should they go about it?” Here are the responses we received.)
For centuries, tribes, clans, communities, cultures and even entire countries have respected, accepted, appreciated and honored the eldest among them. So why can’t we do it, Concord?
I am troubled that all too many young people have a pretty narrow focus on their lives. They seem to be self-absorbed and see the world through a small prism. They have so much that they could learn from the voices of experience. They might even get inspiration to trudge on as they face their immediate challenges.
Sad as it was, the 75th anniversary of D-Day made us pause and remember the Greatest Generation, the sacrifices their members made, both at home and in far-off lands. Though seniors may appreciate the 2 cents a gallon discount for fuel oil and the lower prices at restaurants, they might prefer recognition for their longevity and how they lived their lives. I hope we start a movement to find and honor our oldest resident. And we could also bring a new attitude toward all the seniors who were runners-up in that pageant.
BETTY HOADLEY
Concord
When I moved to New Hampshire, I heard about the Boston Post Cane for the first time, and thought it was a quaint, but nonetheless charming, Yankee tradition. Small New England towns could honor their oldest resident by awarding her (yes, almost always her) this handsome ebony cane as a token of respect. I looked at it as a refreshing sign that this part of the country was thoughtful about its elders, and ready to learn from the wisdom the recipient had gleaned from a life well lived. I presumed that these elders would be happy to have a means of imparting what they had learned to a ready audience.
My impressions have changed over the years, however. I can well imagine that many recipients might feel the cane represents a sign that they are not long for this world, or that they are asked for words of wisdom which will likely fall on deaf ears. They might feel that the world has truly left them behind, and the cane is a sure sign that they are no longer useful in today’s society. When I was a child my mother kept a small supply of LifeSaver candies for moments we kids needed to be quiet. We called them “shut-up pills.” I have come to think of the cane as a form of shut-up pill.
Our nation pays lots of lip service to, but shows precious little actual respect for, our seniors. In this most silver-haired of states, we need to help seniors have more of a say and remain independent as long as they are able to. We need to strengthen supports, such as access to transportation and healthy food, in-home assistance, appropriate housing and an active social network, which can make life healthier and simply better.
And very importantly, we need to openly and proactively discuss end-of-life care. In our era, a large chunk of our health care dollar goes to providing high-level but ultimately futile medical care to elders in their last months of life. If we open the conversation early, and actually listen to our elders, we will appreciate that many, many of them are wiser than we. Advance directives and living wills can allow them to request appropriate and dignified end-of-life care, and allow us to honor them.
MILLIE LaFONTAINE
Concord