(Last week, we asked readers this question: “Knowing what you know now, how would you approach your own senior year if given the opportunity for a do-over?” Here are the responses we received.)
Looking back through the rosy haze of years, I can’t help thinking that senior year should have been an idyllic time. The rules were clear, the expectations were well defined and the criteria for success were practically written in stone. What’s not to love, right?
So why was it so tumultuous and exhausting? What could I have done differently? In my own defense, I think I did a lot of things right. I studied hard. I enjoyed time with friends. I was a member of our varsity swim team – a big fish, albeit in a very small pond. I had plenty of extracurricular interests. I carefully limited my college choices to just three – a long shot, a comfortable fit and a fall-back.
But I know I did a lot of things wrong. Instead of getting things done, I worried a lot. I was preoccupied by how others might see me. I avoided what I considered failure at all costs. I didn’t write unless I had an assignment. I avoided thinking about current events unless they were thrown in my face. And, perhaps the biggest mistake of all, I decided not to take a typing class. Why in the world would I ever need to do THAT? Typing was boring and tedious, and unnecessary for someone like me who was above such a foolish waste of precious time!
The trouble with advice is that we naturally resist hearing it, much less taking it. The best advice is simple, sits with us for a long time and keeps coming back to us. When I was a high school freshman, a senior I admired told me “Read, read, read!” That was good, and I listened. My dad said, “When it comes to standardized tests, pick the cherries.” I got very good at that. My mom told me, “The only way to get something done is to do it.” That was also good. I do better with that now than I did then. My friends admonished me, “Loosen up!” Point well taken. I’m still working on that one.
And my more mature self tells my younger self, “You should have learned to type!” And that is really, really good advice. Too bad I didn’t take it.
MILLIE LaFONTAINE
Concord
The shaping of you
From my personal experience, I learned that there are some important inner changes that everyone needs to start making as they enter their senior year. These all fall under the heading of “high school isn’t the rest of your life.”
One major change is the need to define who you are and what you want to be for the future. In school, you are usually defined by others, based on the groups you’re involved in, the friends you hang out with, and how you act in school. For instance, I carried the label of “quiet little study nerd” all through high school, and when I entered college, I decided a big part of the work would be becoming someone else, in my eyes and in those of the people I encountered.
I had to ask myself how I would change the ways others perceived me, and what the pros and cons would be for every change I made.
The next big issue for seniors, I believe, is working to define what will inspire and motivate them. Whether it is college, time off or a job or apprenticeship, a person needs to look at how what he or she is doing fits with a developing life plan.
Along with that is a process of defining how one motivates oneself, as any step forward requires self-motivation, as rewards from the outside may be slow in coming compared to the work invested.
Learning and using the techniques of self-coaching, stress tolerance and self-reward are going to be valuable no matter what direction is taken.
It is a commencement speech cliche that the end of high school is the beginning of the rest of your life, but I believe it is true, particularly if the emphasis is on the word “your.”
MARK CIOCCA
Penacook