A LOT OF BEING HUMAN is projecting to the world the self we tell ourselves we are. The story says things like “I am kind and thoughtful” or “I am confident and stern” or “I am an outsider who is not like everybody else,” and we try to behave in a way that confirms the inner narrative. When we fail, we become embarrassed or ashamed. When others in some way attack or challenge our story, we become defensive and angry. We are so attached to our story, some call it the ego, that we protect it with every ounce of our being, as if our very existence depended on it. That conflict – the unceasing defense of who you believe you are against forces that suggest otherwise – is the source of a lot of suffering, which pollutes the world as it pollutes the mind. But there are people in our midst who seemed to have figured out the secret, or at least part of the secret: They help others, and when they do the conflict subsides. Our question of the week is this: What person in your life best represents the spirit of the egoless helper? You don’t have to name them, but try to describe what makes them special (and tell us whether they seem happy). Email your response by noon on Tuesday, Nov. 5, to letters@cmonitor.com. Please keep it between 150 and 400 words, and include an address and phone number for verification. We’ll run a selection in next Thursday’s Forum section.