(Last week, we asked readers this question: “What person in your life best represents the spirit of the egoless helper?” Here are the responses we received.)
A caring woman
I know a woman who is endlessly helping others and constantly finding new ways to go about that. In a nearly 30-year teaching career in the Concord School District, she not only helped children learn, she helped them cope with personal challenges and improve their lives to the best extent possible. She continues to work in that way at NHTI when possible.
Outside the classroom, she has demonstrated a constant commitment to the promotion of literacy, including being one of the leaders and founders of the former New Hampshire Literacy Day, which involved numerous educational events and the provision of 10,000 free books to the attendees.
In addition to that event, she has spearheaded the distribution of free children’s books in the holiday food baskets distributed by the Capital Region Program. She has helped promote literacy and holiday giving at the Penacook Elementary School. She even brings books for the children of every physician we visit.
This caring woman has received numerous awards for her work, but she does not do this work for the rewards – she does it to help children and families, and she does that tirelessly.
By the way, this woman is my wife, Donna.
MARK CIOCCA
Penacook
There are a number of people in my life with qualities that make being with them a joy, a relief, an inspiration, or all three. All of them do have a story about themselves, a healthy ego if you will, but I think the key thing about them is that they are so comfortable in their own skin that they don’t seem overly attached to their personal story. When I meet them, it’s like a breath of fresh air in a stuffy room. When we pick up after an absence, we seem to jump right in where we left off, without an elaborate dance to renegotiate our positions.
Since there are several such egoless helpers I enjoy as friends, I’ll describe just three. The first is a woman I developed an instant bond with when we met, the wife of my husband’s good friend. Our families have meshed so well that I think it took my children years to realize the fact that we’re not actually related. My friend is strong, thoughtful and no-nonsense. She figures out where there’s a need, and she simply fills it. Whatever successful parenting skills I have developed over time I learned from watching the magic in her household.
My second friend moved to New Hampshire just a little before I did, but I assumed she had been here forever. Why? Perhaps because she had already become an integral part of the community, and I felt welcomed with open arms. She is the embodiment of “Bloom where you are planted,” and doesn’t need to brandish her personal story to claim her share of the sunlight. She has a way of making that possible for the more “finicky flowers” among us, supplying the sunshine of optimism and the good soil of generosity we might otherwise lack.
My second friend and I now volunteer together with my third friend. This friend is simply a joy to be with. She could have chosen a very different story for herself, given the challenges she has faced in her lifetime. Instead, she looks outward and forward. She can laugh at herself and make us laugh with her, all while staying real to the people she loves. The world is brighter with her in it.
These friends will remain nameless, but I hope they see themselves, and the depths of my admiration and gratitude.
MILLIE LaFONTAINE
Concord