We were moving cattle into the holding pen when Shamus, a three-year-old Scottish Highland steer, stopped, turned and looked me dead in the eye. The message was clear: “I’d like to go back to my pasture now, thanks. Not into your pen.”
So how do you change the mind of an 800-pound bovine?
Simple. Psychology.
The trick is simple: make your idea feel like his. Do that, and you win more often. It’s negotiation, and Chris Voss, author of “Never Split the Difference,” writes it: “We learned that negotiation was coaxing, not overcoming; co-opting, not defeating. Most important, we learned that successful negotiation involved getting your counterpart to do the work for you and suggest your solution himself.”
Voss was an FBI agent who negotiated with terrorists. Working cattle isn’t as dangerous, but the lesson is the same: people resist being told what to do. Spouses dig in their heels over the trash and kids stage a revolt at bedtime. Offer two options you’re happy with, either way. “Trash tonight or dishes?” “Brush teeth first or pajamas first?” Give people and cattle a choice, and they stop fighting.
So how do you get a steer to change his mind?
Instead of stepping toward Shamus to push him into the pen, I did the opposite. I took two steps back and looked away. With the pressure off — and to most cattle, a human stare is pressure — he studied the open gate for a good 30 seconds. I gave him the time and space to choose: shoulder past the bossy farmer, or take the easy road through the gate.
Open gate versus bossy farmer. He calmly stepped through, taking the easy road and going exactly where I wanted him to go.
Sure, it’s tempting to shout and wave your arms. And honestly? It’s fun. But gentle persuasion works just as well — often better — and it makes the farmer feel smart. If you want to feel smart, join me on July 25 from 1 p.m. to 2 p.m. for the Cow Crew Experience. Spend two hours brushing, hugging and feeding the Miles Smith Farm herd of cattle. Space is limited, so sign up soon: https://milessmithfarm.com/cow-crew-experience.
Carole Soule is co-owner of Miles Smith Farm in Loudon, where you can have an Ultimate Cow Experience and hug Finn, a Highland steer. Carole can be reached at carole@cow-coach.com.