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Each year, thousands of cases of domestic violence are reported in New Hampshire. Thousands more are never reported. Any one of these cases can become a fatality. The Monitor would like to recognize the Woman’s Club of Concord, which contributed to our ability to bring this vital story to our readers.

A community discussion will be held
Feb. 19 from 5:30 to 7 p.m. at the Woman's Club, 44 Pleasant St., Concord.
RSVP at news@cmonitor.com

Resources

If you or someone you know has experienced domestic violence, advocates are available 24/7 to provide free and confidential support through the statewide hotline at 1-866-644-3574. You don’t have to be in crisis to reach out.

The Domestic Violence Emergency (DOVE) provides free legal representation for qualifying survivors of domestic violence at final restraining order hearings. Learn more by calling the hotline or your local crisis center. (A complete list of the state’s 13 crisis centers can be found at nhcadsv.org.)

New Hampshire Legal Assistance Domestic Violence Advocacy Project also represents survivors of domestic abuse at restraining order hearings, as well as in divorce and parenting cases. Contact your local crisis center to see if you qualify for a referral.

The Victims’ Compensation Program helps victims of violent crime with expenses directly related to their injuries. Call 603-271-1284 to learn how to apply.

The Address Confidentiality Program helps victims who have permanently left abusive situations and have not created any local or state records using their new address. Participants can use the substitute mailing address for a driver’s license, car registration, food stamps, etc. Call 603-271-1240.

Ending the Violence offers domestic and sexual violence education programs for offenders. For more information, call 603-988-5356.

• " On the night police are called, there is an immediate threat or an emergency. But once that danger has passed — and, quite frankly, when reality sets in — there are things pulling her back. She’s a mother whose children have needs, she has no one to babysit while she works, she has bills that aren’t getting paid — and, on top of it all, her husband is filing motion after motion in court and she can’t afford an attorney."

  Patricia LaFrance, a family law attorney and former felony prosecutor

• " We do everything we can as prosecutors and law enforcement officers to assist victims. At the end of the day, though, they not only feel the weight of the trauma they experienced — they feel the weight of responsibility to make sure it doesn’t happen again. That’s just a tremendous burden and a very unfair one."

  Emily Rice, former U.S. Attorney for New Hampshire

• " It’s really hard when you’ve put so much time into helping someone and then they decide to go back. I’ve had women do that, but some do return later and want to start the whole process all over again. It speaks to the fear, uncertainty and anxiety of leaving an abusive situation. Sometimes it takes someone years to get out."

  Marilyn Mahoney, family law attorney

• " Domestic violence cases are one of if not the most volatile and emotional cases, especially when they involve children. The risk is huge if families are going into a situation where staff are not appropriately trained. If it’s a visitation center that is not secure, the risks are tremendous."

  Melissa Kowalewski, Domestic Violence Project Manager for the New Hampshire court system

• " We need to keep an open dialogue and not let conversations in the domestic violence community about the future of visitation services fall by the wayside. Unfortunately, we did for a while because we had more centers. You take things for granted until they're gone."

  Brianna Vassillion, director of the Merrimack County Visitation Center in Boscawen

• " The most important thing is that children need to be kept safe — I can’t say that enough. We had a real-life situation where a boy’s life was taken. We know the importance of having safe procedures and policies in place. We’d certainly be poised to get involved if there are concerns about how a center is being run."

  James Vara, associate attorney general at the New Hampshire Department of Justice

• " If we’re relocating victims and they’re from Manchester or Nashua, there is a high probability they rely on public transportation. This restricts their ability to hide well from their offender — because the alternative is to move outside the city where they will have a difficult time accessing necessary resources."

  Lisa Lamphere, coordinator of Victims’ Compensation Program at the New Hampshire Department of Justice

• "We do deal with a lot of people who are reluctant to get a restraining order because they feel safer with the person in the home. There are also people who get restraining orders and two days later they’re back together but the order is still active. The cycle is so hard to break, and some offenders view the restraining order as a piece of paper and don’t follow it."

   

  Franklin police Det. Kendall Wolfson, the city’s domestic violence officer

• " Some come into a shelter in order to move on and be independent. For others, it’s just to find time to decide what their next steps are. All of the services we provide in a shelter are voluntary. But, every victim is getting support and their basic needs met."

  Linda Douglas, a trauma specialist for the N.H. Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence

• "When you’re sitting in the office and someone comes in and says, ‘On Friday night my husband and I got into an argument,’ or someone says, ‘I just want to let you know that I’m going to court today and filing for divorce,’ you think, probably 15 people filed for divorce last week and none of them came in and told me.That’s when I say, ‘Come in and sit down with me,’ and pull out the LAP form."

   

  Alexandria Police Chief Donald Sullivan

• " I’m of the generation that thought the best way to resolve a domestic violence situation was to get someone to leave for the night, knowing full well we’d be back shortly after they returned home. We didn’t have any of the statutes nor did victims have any of the protections that the statutes provide to make an arrest and separate the parties. I’m embarrassed to tell you I’m even of a generation where I arrested a victim once because she came in a month later to recant her statement. This woman had been beaten to within an inch of her life."

  Franklin Police Chief David Goldstein

• "We’ll hear people say, ‘If he’s around me, I know where he is and how he’s going to act but if I’m hiding I have no idea where he is or where he could be — and he could find me any time.’If you add children to the mix, the situation becomes even more complicated. They know the children are more protected with them there than not."

   

  Franklin police Det. Kendall Wolfson, the city’s domestic violence officer