Suicide Prevention

" My wish is that people are inspired by my story and don’t just look at me and say, ‘That poor woman.’ The reason why I am so vulnerable and open is I want someone to understand and relate to at least one part of my story and find hope."

" My daughter’s gone and my goal is to let people know her story. This just touches me in such a way that I’m scared for my community. I’m scared for the young people in Concord. ... Everyone who touched Samantha’s life needs to realize that we’re in trouble here. If we can’t take care of our most vulnerable children, then what the hell are we doing? ... How many more people need to die before our community cares? I can't let this go. I need to fight for all the mothers who have sick children that need help. "

"When we know we’ve prevented a suicide, it’s incredibly rewarding – but you hardly ever know when that happens. We’re so busy focusing on what didn’t work after the fact."

"It’s a silent thing no one’s talking about because people say, ‘Not in my family; everything’s great.’ We thought everything was great. We found out the hard way it wasn’t. ... People say stuff heals with time. I think that’s true when you lose an aunt, an uncle, mother and father. I think it does heal in time. But I think this is totally different. I don’t think I’ll ever get over losing a child. I’m just trying my best."

"It’s still so stigmatized. For me what’s shocking, is it’s still just as stigmatized in 2017 as it was in 1981 when my brother died."

"Metal health isn’t the easiest thing to talk about, and some communities aren’t ready or willing to do that. I feel personally that we’re past the point of people being comfortable. It’s unfortunate if they are not comfortable talking about it but they are going to have to talk about it - we’re done with the, ‘let's wait until people are ready.’ It’s too important."

"If you come across someone at risk for suicide, we recommend asking the question many different ways. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket – ask it, ‘Are you thinking of killing yourself? Are you thinking of taking your life? Are you thinking of ending your life? Are you thinking of suicide?’ The bottom line is, are you feeling bad? or, Are you feeling down? You’re not getting at suicide. You have to ask about the self infliction of harm."

"The Department of Education says kids should be taught about mental health, but there’s no meat behind it. It’s not really regulated. ... We have this opportunity to make this generation of young people who grow up and are able to talk about their mental health and not feel that stigma and shame. They’re more open than we were. "

"Everyone has no idea how it would feel to lose a child, especially in this manner and at that age. They can’t think of anything to say. I hear ‘I’m sorry’ a lot. I’m trying to remember all the good. But it hurts so, so bad. I don’t even know what to think most of the time. I just don’t want any more people going through this. ... There’s an old saying, it takes a village to raise a child, and it’s true. It’s not just mom, it’s not just dad. It’s not just the aunts and uncles, it’s the friend, the teacher. If the a whole community doesn’t circle around and help all at once, unfortunately, things like this are going to keep happening. "

"You still have people who are very private about it, who won’t disclose information to the school and really don’t want to share that type of stuff. But I would say for the most part, we’ve seen an increase in the mental health needs in society and we see that reflected in the schools and a lot of that brings more dialogue."

"If you go through the process of grieving and you live through it – and there are days you don’t want to live through it – when you come out of it, your joys are more joyful because you’ve been in the cannon of grief. You understand happiness and joy and being fulfilled, and your heart can still be happy."

"The opioid crisis has brought the mental health issues to the front page for New Hampshire. Along the way, it’s been able to take other issues along with it in a positive framework. It would be shallow to think it’s just about drugs - it’s about mental health issues and why did people turn to those things in the first place."

"Looking at suicide, Some people feel like they were blindsided by a loved one's suicide, but also in hindsight they might be able to see warning signs. How often do you think there are these warning signs that someone is struggling? You can't find every kid to have a suicide risk, but if your looking and studying and learning, you may find more."

"Massachusetts has the highest amount of funding going to suicide prevention and the lowest rates of suicide. Investment in suicide prevention works - it’s kind of one of those no brainer things."

"If I had tingling in my left arm, nobody would say, ‘Ann, have a seat. Let’s wait for nausea, and sweating, and clamminess and vomiting. Then we’ll know you’re really having a heart attack.’ No – universally, people know what a heart attack looks like. But you don’t wait for other warning signs to come out. Unfortunately, with suicide, people will see one thing, they’ll hear one thing, and then they’ll discount it, and when they do respond it might be too late."

"Firearms not bad thing for people to have, but they are very lethal, and they're not helpful for people who are thinking of killing themselves. We love your right to have a gun at home, but we urge people who might have a kid at home to keep a safety plan."

"There’s a difference between having anxiety at work or in a group of friends, and having a disorder where it paralyzes you. "

"My advice for schools would be to get the prevention training now – don’t wait for something to happen. Because it’s going to happen."

"Suicide is that moment of desperation when you are hopeless. This is a discussion we really want to get to young people well in advance of that moment of desperation. We want them to have a plan, ‘what do I do if I feel this way?’ We’re going to have to be a dog on the bone on that. We’ve got so much work to do."

"We have some really sound evidence that sending a postcard or making a phone call after a person leaves inpatient care has shown to reduce suicide. You’re basically telling somebody that you care about them, and you’re here to help."

"If a student was identified as suicidal, and they were going to the emergency department, oftentimes I offered to go with them. A lot of times, students get scared and they start recant and take back what happened. I had the quotes of what they had said, what set up the circumstances and support for when they needed it."

"Here in Concord especially, there’s such a push on data. Especially in the last 10 to 15 years, it’s data, data, data. Data is extremely important, certainly to get federal funding, and to get state funding and all those sorts of things. We try to look at what’s behind the data. You can look at a bunch of numbers and say, firearm use is up. But we also try to put some context behind it with those patterns - why did it happen, and what can we do to stop it from happening in the future?"

"It’s very hard to find a job that will understand what you go through. I mean, depression for me is almost like I have the flu every other day. I’m so exhausted – even if I slept for 10 hours."