Embarrassing draft bust Sony Michel sparks weaponless Patriots in 31-point victory

Published: 9/30/2018 7:36:14 PM
Sony.jpgSony Michel had 112 yards and 25 carries with a touchdown for New England on Sunday.

FOXBOROUGH, Mass. — A week after proving that Bill Belichick is an egomaniacal terror incapable of drafting talent in the National Football League, embarrassing draft bust Sony Michel sparked a weaponless Patriots offense to a 38-7 victory over the Dolphins on Sunday.
Michel’s breakout game comes a week after everyone concluded he was a perplexing reach in the first round who lacked the speed, hands, field vision, grit, guts and gumption necessary to carry a football in the NFL. Therefore, it must have come as some surprise to the Dolphins that Michel gained 112 yards on 25 carries with one touchdown.
Michel, an injury-prone fumble machine, missed much of a training camp after a reported meniscus procedure on his left knee. As a result, it was a miserable slog of three entire NFL starts before he was able to amass 100 yards in a single game. Michel, who has 152 yards on his last 32 carries (4.75 yards per carry) dating back to halftime of last week’s game, said he felt “blessed” on Sunday. Probably blessed that the wizened observers who discarded him to the waste bin that holds Chad Jackson, Laurence Maroney and every skill player currently on the New England roster were not able to cut Michel themselves.
“He’s a tough runner,” said Patriots running back James White, a man who apparently missed last week’s 26-10 loss in Detroit, the only moment in history that matters when it comes to evaluating Michel. “He can catch the ball, he can block, he can pretty much do it all. I mean, he missed preseason, so he didn’t get a lot of those reps. The more he plays, the better he’ll get, and he wanted to come out there and attack the day from the first play. He played really well.”
Michel said the difference from last week to this week was cemented in practice, the time that exists between games in which players are permitted to correct mistakes and improve their play.  
“It started all in practice,” Michel said. “Our guys made a good emphasis and coach talked about starting fast. We had to do it in practice and I think we as a (team) did a great job starting fast in practice throughout the week. We did a good job executing our plays and it translated over to the field today.”
Another surprising development on Sunday is the fact that Tom Brady was able to complete passes for yards as Belichick has spitefully deprived his star quarterback of any player one could credibly describe as a “weapon” this season. With no weapons in his arsenal, Brady instead had to throw for 274 yards and three touchdowns to players who have not been weaponized.
James White, a running back who only catches passes and is never permitted to simply carry footballs, had 68 receiving yards, 44 rushing yards and two touchdowns, one rushing, one receiving. Phillip Dorsett, another first-round draft bust who would be the sixth or seventh receiver on any other team, had four catches for 55 yards and a somersaulting touchdown reception. Cordarrelle Patterson, yet another first-round draft bust, who is not credibly fit to play any position in the NFL, caught a 55-yard touchdown pass from Brady.
It’s important to note that the win over Miami is not likely to stave off the imminent conclusion of the Patriots Dynasty. The Dolphins only had three wins entering this Week 4 game, and were ranked just 11th in points scored (25 per game) and sixth in points allowed (17.3 per game).  The Patriots now have a short week on which to resume the conclusion of their dynasty and Brady’s descent off a nearing skills cliff, when they host the formidable Indianapolis Colts, a 1-3 team who beat themselves on Sunday.
Dave Brown is a freelance correspondent who covers the Patriots for the Monitor. You can follow him on Twitter @ThatDaveBrown.

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