Forty years ago, my wife Carol and I used to throw a family party that was an absolute blast. On Kentucky Derby day, we were celebrating Mother’s Day, my oldest son’s birthday, and my father-in-law’s birthday.
It was a pretty big deal. My family showed up and Carol’s family showed up, which didn’t happen too often. I’m talking grandparents, parents, kids and grandkids — quite the crowd.
We did this for many years; it was a family event and everyone had a good time. Appetizers, barbecue, birthday cake and Mint Juleps — what a party. I always felt a bit of pressure grilling for such a big crowd because it is so easy to mess up, but a couple of beers transformed me into the King of All Barbecue. I did all right.
Fun crowd, meaningful day and … The Derby. The Kentucky Derby.
The race was the highlight of the day, because post time is always late afternoon. By then we had consumed magnificent barbecue, devoured birthday cake and consumed a few drinks, so our bellies were full, our inhibitions relaxed. Good conversation and lots of laughter were in full swing.
Carol would make a list of all the horses participating in the race, cut it up and drop the slips into a hat. Everyone would draw a name and place two bucks in a bowl. Pretty wild bunch. Then we’d hover around the television, watch the race and cheer our horses on.
The whole day was fun. Of course, over the years it fizzled out, as these things do, to the point where we stopped doing it.
At one point, about 15 years ago, I tried to revive it because I really missed it. Four people showed up and it was boring, because it was forced. I tried to recreate the magic which, as you well know, is never a good idea. Since then, nothing.
I bring this up because this year my wife and I watched the Derby together. Just us and our cats — Patsy in my lap, Emmy Lou in hers. We each chose a horse and bet five bucks that our horse would finish ahead of the other one.
For some reason, the contrast between this year and my memories really got to me. This is how life works. Boom and bust. Early on, there’s lots of activities, parties and celebrations. As time goes by, everything gradually gets smaller; eventually, they disappear. It is a sobering reality, but it is life. You want the good times to keep on rolling, and when they don’t, you get reflective.
I am 72 years old now, and I am trying real hard to keep a positive outlook. It was a quiet Derby day, but I spent it with my wife of 48 years, and the two cats we love with all our hearts. I miss the parties, but they left me with great memories that make me smile. And I have a two-year-old grandson now who makes my life spectacular.
Things now are not better or worse, they’re just different. I can live with that.
I won the bet. I’m still waiting for Carol to pay up.