Opinion: Resolutions, a way to start your year or finish your song

“Here she was, asking if we could write a song together and then record a video for that song. She was really indulging my interests,” writes Adams. Pixabay
Published: 01-03-2025 4:01 PM |
Brian Adams of Andover, Mass., is a UNH alumnus originally from Londonderry. He was previously a sketch comedy writing instructor and staff writer at ImprovBoston and a founding contributor to satirical online newspaper Recyculus. He is a father to three girls.
‘Dad, can we write a Christmas song together?” Our oldest daughter, seven-year-old Alexandra, asked me, right after Thanksgiving.
It was difficult for me to hold back my excitement, despite the fact that I’ve held the title of ‘World’s Least Excitable Human’ for longer than I would care to admit.
“Yes!” I told her. “I’ll go get my guitar!”
“Will they play it on the radio?” she wondered.
“Absolutely not,” I said, without hesitation, “but I love your optimism.”
I have exposed Alexandra to a number of my interests over the years: comedy, chess, and music, amongst others. But I have been cautious not to push her too hard in any direction. Rather, I made it a personal rule to only respond to her enthusiasm when I see it.
Given this rule, it was against my better judgment when I recently decided to show her some low-budget music videos I had shot and edited for other musicians years ago, hoping she might be interested. I have learned that when you tell your children about an accomplishment of yours or show them something you’ve created, it is best to be prepared for a reaction that falls somewhere between complete indifference and absolute annoyance.
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Instead, she surprised me. Here she was, asking if we could write a song together and then record a video for that song. She was really indulging my interests.
When I brought my guitar back, we started working out the verses. She started the ideas and I helped with the rhyme scheme. In no time, we had the makings of a song. I had never even managed to write a song myself, so this was exciting to be able to write one with my daughter. We performed it for my wife just minutes after it was done and she was pleasantly surprised by what Alexandra and I had accomplished in short order.
We had some family over for a gathering a few days later and I suggested we perform the song. Alexandra suddenly seemed disinterested, making nonsensical excuses. Maybe she was just feeling shy, I thought. A few days later, I asked her if she wanted to sit down with me and put the finishing touches on the song, but more excuses came my way.
“What happened?” I asked my wife, Kim, looking for answers.
“Maybe she just lost interest,” Kim speculated.
It didn’t make sense to me. How can you be so excited about something one minute, then totally lose interest. Maybe this father/daughter songwriting thing was just a flash in the pan that I’d have to cling to until my two-year-old twins, Olivia and Hannah, were old enough for me to try to persuade into singing with their desperate Dad, personal parental rules be damned. Over the course of a few weeks of inactivity from Alexandra, I had resigned myself to just that.
The day before Christmas, she approached me with an inquiry.
“Dad, I was thinking maybe tomorrow we could make the video for our song?”
I was taken aback. “Well,” I said, “tomorrow is Christmas, so it’s pretty unlikely we’ll spend the day shooting a music video. Also, we never finished the song, so there’s no music to go with the video. But I’m happy to hear you haven’t given up on it.”
It was then that I realized that my original perspective had been faulty. As a person of any age who lives in this time of constantly decreasing attention spans, it is rare that any pursuit can hold the same level of interest over the course of time. There are so many events and friends and sources of entertainment that sometimes even your most important objectives can be lost in the shuffle.
In this environment, how could anyone, much less a seven-year-old, be expected to maintain a consistent level of enthusiasm for a particular goal, day in and day out?
As January is upon us, many of us will set goals for ourselves and make resolutions that might not happen in accordance with the timeline that we had envisioned. Rather than blame ourselves and give up these goals with an all-or-nothing attitude, remember that it’s not always a straight line from start to finish. If you don’t happen to complete that “song” right away, just keep your goal in sight and give yourself the gift of forgiveness in this new year. Tomorrow will bring another chance to sing.