Iris Turmelle leaned back in the car’s rear seat, letting the warmth of the July sun bathe her face as she headed to a sleepover at her friend’s house.

But a text message from her mother, shattered that Friday afternoon, overwhelming her with anger and frustration.

“It was one of those moments where it was like there was no hope for the world feelings,” said Iris, 14, recalling that moment.

Gov. Chris Sununu had just signed two bills limiting the rights of transgender youth in New Hampshire.

For Iris’s mother, Amy Manzelli, the news was deeply unsettling, leaving her to wonder — Is New Hampshire still the right place for her family?

For three decades, Manzelli had called New Hampshire home, building a life with her husband, Chad Turmelle, and raising their two children, Iris and Ida, in the town of Pembroke.

But with the recent legislative changes, New Hampshire had begun to feel like an unfriendly place for their family.

If these bills aren’t overturned in the next legislative session or through legal challenges, Manzelli said she would consider relocating to a more welcoming state of LGBTQ+ rights.

If federal laws were to become discriminatory against LGBTQ+ individuals, she and her family might even look into moving to another country for a more accepting environment.

“I’m wondering if it’s a place where I want to raise my family,” said Manzelli. “My child has lost some of her human rights and that is not an acceptable state of circumstances for our family.”

While two bills concerning transgender individuals have been passed this session in New Hampshire – Sununu vetoed a third – one particular piece of legislation weighed heavily on Manzelli and her family.

The new law that bans transgender girls in grades 9 through 12 from participating in school athletic or sports teams designated for “females,” “women,” or “girls” is especially troubling for them. Iris, who had come out as a transgender girl in first grade, is about to start high school at Pembroke Academy.

Although Iris isn’t an athlete and doesn’t have a strong interest in sports, she would still love the option to play her favorite sport, tennis, as well as javelin throw.

Not knowing if she will be allowed to play sports is a concern for Iris as she steps into high school in September.

“I personally am not really worried about it, but I would like to have the option to play sports if I wanted to,” said Iris.

House Bill 1205 introduced as “fairness in women’s sports act” mandates that sports teams for grades 5 through 12 be categorized as “male, men, or boys,” or “female, women, or girls,” or “coed or mixed.”

The law specifically prohibits students assigned male at birth from joining female teams and requires proof of sex through a birth certificate.

In 2019, Iris had her birth certificate updated to reflect her gender as female.

Despite this change, the new law could still bar Iris from participating in school sports, as it demands the birth certificate show the student’s biological sex “at or near the time of the student’s birth.”

Manzelli, who was elected to serve two terms on the Pembroke school board, resigned after the bills limiting her daughter’s rights were signed into law.

“In anticipation of potentially litigating this matter, we felt that it would be inappropriate for me to continue on the board,” Manzelli said.

Her term was set to end in 2026.

This new law doesn’t just impact the small number of transgender youth in New Hampshire — it could also affect cisgender girls. The law requires that girls must prove their sex by presenting a birth certificate or other evidence to play a sport, but it remains unclear if schools must require birth certificates for all girls or if it will happen on a case-by-case basis. 

If a child’s birth certificate does not indicate their sex at birth or if it is not their original birth certificate, the new law states they “must provide other evidence” to prove their sex at birth, without any clarification.

Frances Lim-Liberty, a pediatrician certified by the American Board of Pediatrics and on the board of New Hampshire Chapter of the American Academy of Pediatrics, expressed concern about the law’s ambiguous language, which has left many worried about the consequences if they are unable to provide a birth certificate.

She questioned whether this could lead to invasive practices, such as genital exams for girls. She also wondered if coaches might be required to monitor locker rooms to verify a child’s gender if a parent in the stands accuses a player of being transgender.

“It’s an overreach and it’s sex discrimination,” said Lim-Liberty. “It’s a violation of Title IX because there’s no requirement for boys to do the same thing.”

Embracing her true self

Iris is just like any other teenager. She loves playing Minecraft on her phone, attending summer camp, and having the occasional squabble with her little sister, Ida. She’s also a “chicken whisperer” who delights in picking up the chickens in her backyard and watching them graze.

“Iris being a transgender girl is only a slice of her,” said Manzelli.

When Iris was coming out to her parents, it was a sweet, innocent moment. Draped in a blanket tied around her waist like a skirt, she didn’t realize she was making a profound statement about her identity.

Her parents, curious and supportive, simply asked if she wanted to be a girl. Iris responded with an enthusiastic “yes.”

“I was just happy that I was finally going to be me,” Iris said, reflecting on her feelings at the time.

She vividly remembers the first time she wore a dress to school in first grade — seafoam green with rose ruffles.

“I felt amazing!” said Iris, her face framed by a pair of rainbow-colored glasses.

For Iris’s parents, accepting their daughter’s identity was simply a matter of embracing reality.

“Being open to having a transgender daughter and to people being transgender was not difficult at all,” said Manzelli.

However, Manzelli admits that she did go through a period of grieving as she adjusted to the shift from the son she thought she had to the daughter she now cherished. But those feelings have long been replaced by joy.

Every moment with Iris is now a magical experience — from shopping for clothes in the girls’ section to celebrating her interests.

“I have this awesome daughter. That was a surprise,” said Manzelli. “It’s been a wonderful journey, but not without its challenges.”

Never did Iris imagine she would find herself testifying as a child before the state legislature against bills that sought to define her rights.

Although it was difficult, she felt it was important to speak out, unsure who else would.

“I felt like there should be someone speaking from my age group, for my age group,” said Iris.

Often, Iris experiences nightmares about the distressing testimonies from those opposing the rights of transgender students, her mother said.

Physical advantage debate

Laws banning transgender youth from participating in girls’ sports often stem from concerns that those assigned male at birth might have a physical advantage.

But Lim-Liberty explains that physical advantage is less of a concern among kids.

When children go through puberty, their bodies continue to change even after they’ve stopped growing taller.

For example, while someone might complete their growth spurts, it can take years for features like facial hair to fully emerge.

Similarly, Lim-Liberty points out that muscle development doesn’t reach its peak immediately after puberty.

“It takes time for muscles to develop and gain strength,” she said. “So the time period that this law is targeting is not generally the time period in which bodies have developed to have full physical advantage.”

Many advocates for the bill banning transgender girls from participating in girls’ team sports have suggested creating a separate team for transgender youth.

But, Jennifer Smith, a transgender woman from Pembroke and a retired physician, argues that separate teams are impractical due to the small numbers. Instead, she suggests that schools should encourage mixed-gender teams at all levels.

Smith also insists that transgender girls pose no threat to other girls.

“For that matter, there’s no evidence that I’ve ever seen that transgender adults like me are a danger to females of any stripe, transgender or not,” she said. “It’s become a target. Various things become targets politically, and this has become a target because people don’t understand.”

If testosterone levels in bodies are a concern, Smith pointed out that girls and women with polycystic ovary syndrome also have higher testosterone levels.

For children on puberty blockers, testosterone and estrogen hormones are suppressed. This intervention delays the development of facial and body hair, prevents voice deepening, and limits the growth of external reproductive organs.

“It’s kind of bizarre to do this to people who really don’t have a competitive advantage, and the notion that they’re going to hurt someone is really bizarre because they tend to be on the smaller side,” Smith said in response to the recent law regarding transgender youth participating in school sports teams.

The recent legislation not only impacts transgender girls’ participation in school sports but also significantly affects their mental health, often leaving them feeling isolated and marginalized.

Iris, in particular, has faced challenges due to these new laws, needing extra support from her friends during this time, said Manzelli.

Despite these challenges, Iris takes pride in her identity and has a powerful message for the transgender youth in the state — “We are here; we may be struggling, but we are strong and we are fighters.”

Sruthi Gopalakrishnan can be reached at sgopalakrishnan@cmonitor.com