Diana George of Hancock is a registered nurse.

When I first started to learn about my child’s identity as a transgender boy, I thought of it as his defining characteristic. Now, I know it is just one part of who he is. The most important things about him are that he is a healthy, happy, amazing 21-year-old young man who will graduate from college in May.

I began to notice my child was changing his appearance during the summer of 2016 when he was 15 years old. My child’s shoulder-length hair was being cut shorter and shorter each time we went to the salon. Clothing was changing from typical feminine to boyish styles. In public, strangers saw my child as a boy and referred to him with male pronouns. I realized something was going on but I had no context for these changes. Finally, I asked my child to tell me what was going on. With hesitance and a look of worry and angst, my child told me, “Mom, I’m a boy.”

At first, I struggled with my child’s identity. It was new to my husband and me, but it wasn’t new to our son. I’m thankful that my family was able to have this deeply personal conversation on our own timeline and without interference from his school.

This is why I oppose Senate Bill 272, which would require school administrators to notify parents of a child’s LGBTQ identity. It will lead to dire outcomes for some students, who may be at risk for severe mental or physical abuse because their parents hold anti-LGBTQ beliefs.

This is important. Adolescence is a time of emerging independence, growth, discovery, and autonomy. On his first day back to school his sophomore year, my child informed his teachers and friends of the name and pronouns he was now using. When my son returned home from school that day, he told me he had done this. The school did not notify me or my husband. My son told me himself. I’m grateful he had that opportunity.

While I was initially upset that my child did this without telling me first, I was not upset with the school for not notifying me, as SB 272 would require. When your child unexpectedly shares with you that they are transgender it can be an emotional and confusing time for parents who, like my husband and I, may have little or no understanding of what it means to be transgender. Your child understands this and their initial decision most likely will be to come out to their friends and teachers first because it feels safer.

My husband and I love our child unconditionally and would never reject him. My son knows this. A parent’s number one responsibility is to provide love, support, and safety to their child. This is why it is crucial to allow the child space to discuss their gender with their peers and trusted teachers before coming out to their parents. The fear of parental rejection is intense, even for a child who knows they are otherwise loved. The child may think, “What if my parents don’t believe me? What if they reject me and throw me out of the house? Where will I go? What will I do?”

There is no harm in allowing a child to socially explore their identity before confiding in their parents. My son feeling safe enough to do that at school helped ease the way for him to talk to me. New Hampshire lawmakers should not take those important conversations away from other transgender students and their families. I hope our legislators will vote against SB 272 and continue to allow students the chance to build trusting relationships at school, and families the chance to talk about things on the terms and timetable that are right for them.

We don’t need a law that would single out transgender kids for monitoring at school. There is nothing wrong with children exploring and discovering themselves. Schools need to be a trusted and safe place to do so.

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