Donna Baker-Hartwell lives in East Andover.

I attended the public hearing on SB 272. The articles within this parental rights legislation that I disapprove of are (t) (u) and (v), pertaining to children who express at school and/or to school personnel their feelings of being different, non-conforming, or questioning their gender identity.

As a mother of someone who is transgender and a grandmother of a 9-year-old non-binary child, I have first-hand experience with the process a child/person goes through in figuring out who they are and finding the courage to share this with others.

It is very common for the process to start with trusted adults and friends that are not as emotionally involved as one’s parents. More often, a child wants desperately not to hurt or upset his, her, or their parents.

For example, my trans-child wanted a different name but knew how much their name given at birth meant to me. They talked about this with close friends and a teacher and after practicing what they wanted to say to me, how they were going to tell me, they got the courage to do so.

Children who love their parents very much are also the most afraid of hurting them. It takes tremendous courage to come out to those you love the most.

The only exception in SB 272 is that information does not have to be shared with known abusers. More often than not, the fact that a child hasn’t shared with their parents what they are feeling is because they are not emotionally ready to do so. Forced “outing” by those they trust will cause harm to the child. It is crucial that a child or young person is respected and supported and provided with a safe place and person in order to find their own way and in their own time to come out to their parents.

Lastly, please consider, a child’s journey in figuring out who they feel they are is not an emergency. This is not a case of imminent danger. These three clauses in SB 272 would actually threaten the well-being of a child by forcing their “safe place or person” to out them, leaving them feeling vulnerable, resulting in a child or young adult feeling overwhelmed, betrayed and possibly contemplating suicide. (Expressing thoughts of suicide is a different matter and always requires educators to contact parents.)

My husband and I are forever grateful to the teachers and friends that gave our child support during their process of coming out. SB 272, if passed with these three clauses included, would be a disaster for LGBTQ+ children in New Hampshire.

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